


Trees {Dyle}

by Fanofthebastillelife



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-18 00:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9354893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanofthebastillelife/pseuds/Fanofthebastillelife
Summary: I     C A N      F E E L      Y O U R      B R E A T H





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> New Dyle fic for you all :)

At ten to four on Friday the 16th of September, Daniel Smith leads his best friend, Kyle Simmons, through the thick woodland, following a path which neither of them knows. They chat happily away although out of breath from the distance they have walked in such an intense heat from the sun which beats down on them both. After a hard day at school, which was full of tormenting for Kyle, the younger boy just wants to get away from everything for just a short while. When he told Dan this, Dan informed him of the forest which he had been to many times previously in his life. He just hadn't followed this particular route before.

Kyle leans against a tree with one arm hanging at his side and the other supporting himself against the dark bark. A film of sweat covers his face and even more drips from his hair.

"Dan, please can we stop?" He pants, his voice stuttering every so often. His speech impediment which forbids him from speaking fluently is one of his main insecurities and his bullies never let him hear the end of it. Comments are always being thrown his way and he's the butt of many jokes. "I'm dying over here." 

Dan turns to face his best friend with a body as equally as tired and sweaty. His blazer is tied around his waist and a smile settles on his face as he looks at Kyle. The two thirteen-year-olds had been in the first year of junior school together and have been inseparable ever since, especially now since the pair have been best friends for the most part of each other's lives.

"Sure, Ky," he answers, the smile still warm on his face. A deep breath fills his lungs and refreshes him slightly as he trails back to his best friend and takes him over to a large oak tree. Neither of them knows exactly where they are, but it's very pretty here. The once green leaves on the shrubbery and trees are beginning to turn to a crisp orange and the singing of the birds high up on the branches above them fill the air. There's nothing, however, that particularly makes it stick out besides from the large oak tree in the centre of the clearing where Kyle now sits.

Dan joins him and takes a seat beside him, just like he has done many times in the past. He reaches into his school bag to retrieve a bottle of water which the pair so desperately need. The trip had been spontaneous, just to let Kyle get away from everything and everyone. This is just where they have ended up.

Thoughts of concern travel through Dan's mind as he watches Kyle, particularly focused on his hands. Trailing down from his forearm is a purple bruise which fades into his hand.

"Kyle..." The older boy mumbles quietly as he gently takes hold of the other boy's arm to inspect the blotches of colour. "Your arm... Your hand... What happened?" Concern etches itself onto Dan's face.

The other boy just shakes his head, pleading in his mind to just dismiss the subject without another word. Why would Dan ever want to listen to his stupid stuttering voice, anyway? "It doesn't matter." He says with a quiet voice and a downcast gaze, "It was just in PE." 

Dan frowns, unsure of whether or not Kyle is telling the full story.

A burning hatred begins to swell in his chest, rising from the pit of Dan's stomach until it feels like it may begin to bellow out of his mouth. Anger replaces the concern on his face and not even the cool breeze that blows through the air calms him down.

"Was it  _Catlin_ again?" He asks Kyle with a voice so powerful it's almost demanding. Samuel Catlin is the worse of the worse. He's the biggest bully of not only the school but the town, and for the last seven, possibly even eight years, he has made Kyle's life absolute Hell. The boy has never had the confidence to speak and stand up for himself. The various bloody noses and blotchy bruises he came home with never tempts him into fighting back

Kyle's silence is the only answer Dan needs.

"I'm going to kill him one day, Kyle," Dan growls as he balls his fists up tightly. "I will actually  _kill him."_

"N-no, Dan..." Kyle's stomach gives a lurch as his voice stutters out. "Please. It's fine, honestly." 

As infuriating as it is for Dan and his family, it's obvious that Kyle has given up completely on the situation; he knows he's never going to be able to stop the bullying and he looks as defeated as ever as he leans against the large tree. He doesn't dare to look up at Dan, but he hides the bruise out of sight from Dan by covering it with his hand. This is the last thing he needs after today.

"No, Kyle!" Dan snaps, making Kyle flinch. The younger boy can feel his heart pick up and tears prickle his eyes. "It's not fine! It's not  _fine_ at all! Just look at yourself, for God's sake, you're  _covered_ in bruises and I'm not going to stand here and act like it's all fine and that this is the first time that this has ever happened, okay?" Dan throws his arms in the air in exasperation and he doesn't notice the way Kyle flinches again. "He can't keep getting away with this! You let him get away with breaking your bloody nose! He's been doing this since year four and it's evil.  _He's_ evil and he needs to be stopped. It's unfair to you, and if you don't stop him now, it's only going to get worse." Kyle has tears running down his face and he buries himself into his sleeve, trying desperately to hide away from everything- including Dan. When he turns around and sees this, his face softens. "Kyle..." 

Kyle pulls his knees up to his chest as the weight of guilt sits uncomfortably upon his shoulders as though somebody had placed a sack of bricks there. The bullying had gotten so much worse over the years, and Kyle is beginning to believe the sick lies they feed into his every day- that he's stupid, that he's worthless, disgusting. His optimistic thoughts had been brutally pulled away from him years ago. With his parents shouting and arguing with him all the time and never paying the teenager any attention when he bursts through the door and skips straight up the stairs and into his bedroom to hide his bloody face, he feels like he has absolutely no support around him.

They never notice, anyway. They never care.

"Dan..." Kyle's voice shakes and stutters. His eyes are blurring with tears but he's trying so, so very hard to make himself sound at least semi-normal.  _But when have you ever been normal?_ He questions himself as he takes a few deep breaths. "Leave it.  _Please._ I don't want to talk about him. I don't even want to think about him." Worry overtakes Kyle's body as he becomes self-conscious about the bruises which litter his arms.

Dan feels all the fire and anger in his reduce to nothing more than a kindled fire; as much as he wants to rant on more about how he's going to absolutely destroy the boy when he sees him tomorrow, the look on Kyle's face makes him feel sick with worry. He wants to tell Kyle that he deserves the world and more- but, nonetheless, he complies with his friend's wishes and keeps quiet.

They sit like this for a short while, both of them listening to the birds as they sing their sweet melodies. Kyle's thoughts are occupied by his bully now, fears of what he may do or say tomorrow. Dan's thoughts are occupied by guilt and anger that he's never really stood up for Kyle. Every time he goes to, every time he has a snarky comment in mind, Kyle pulls him back nd insists he'll only make it worse. Rumours would be spread around the pair- not that Dan cares because, at the end of the day, they both know they're not true.

 

As the clock ticks ever closer to six PM, a bright orange blanket covers the stunning blue of the sky as the sun begins to set over the tree tops. The refreshing, cool breezes had turned to chills, and both of the boys are getting increasingly cold. 

"Dan, we should be going home, now. Our parents will want to know where we are," Kyle says quietly, rising to his feet. He knows his parents won't even realise he's not home- and that hurts him.

Kyle shrugs his blazer on and offers a hand to help Dan up. He had been writing in a notebook and doing odd pieces of homework until now. Dan accepts it and follows the same ritual with his own blazer.

They follow each other down the path which leads out of the forest, and they stop at the entrance where they will both part ways.

"So, do you want to do something tomorrow?" Dan offers, putting his hands away into his pockets so the cold can't bite them anymore. Kyle shrugs.

"Yeah, suppose we can if you want. I'll call your house at nine tomorrow, yeah?" Dan nods at Kyle's suggestion, "Right... Well, see you tomorrow, then..." 

"Hey come here," Dan says, pulling the other boy closer and wrapping his arms around him. Kyle is taller than Dan, but he stills feels that he should protect him. Kyle settles into the hug and buries his head into Dan's shoulder. God knows he needs it. "I care about you, okay? I really do." 

Dan smiles as he watches his friend walk off not ten minutes later with the mental prayer that he'll have a good nigth at home tonight.


	2. Two

Kyle hopes that when he comes home his parents might not be shouting. Perhaps they'll be sat around the dinner table with Kyle's little sister, waiting for the boy's return so they can have a meal together. Perhaps they'll see Kyle's bruises on his arms and ask him about them. Perhaps they'll actually start caring...

The hopes fall away as he walks up to the front door and hears them yelling. He scolts himself for being stupid as his heart drops. His head hangs in shame as he silently enters the house and skips straight to his bedroom upstairs, remaining unnoticed by his parents. The house, as it usual is, is brutally cold. The heating bill hasn't been paid for as long as Kyle can remember.

Tears flood the boy's eyes as he flicks on his CD player, allowing the music to drown out the shouts of his parents downstairs.  _I hate this._ He thinks to himself as he sits down on his bed. A deep sense of dread flows throgh his body at the idea of having to go to school again. In fact, the whole idea of living fills him with a sense of dread. He doesn't want to have to go to school every day just to come home with bruises, to parents who are too caught up in arguments, and a sister too young to understand.

He lets the tears fall down his face and he feels pathetic as he buries his face into the crook of his arm and lies on his back.

 

Dan can't help but worry about his best friend when he gets home that evening. He eats dinner with him family knowing that Kyle won't be doing the same thing. The thoughts of Kyle sitting alone in his bedroom in absolute tears makes him want to go over there, hug him, and never let go.

He eats in silence with guilt sitting on his shoulders. He should be helping Kyle right now... There's no emotion on his face as he shovels forkful after forkful of spaghetti into his mouth.

"Something wrong, Daniel?" His dad questions, glancing up from his own plate. "You've been so quiet." 

Dan just shrugs, shaking his head.

"Has something happened with Kyle? I know you said this morning you were going out with him after school tonigt. Is he okay?" At Dan's face of mixed emotions, she continues. "Are things at home for him still a little bit rough?"

"He's having a really, really tough time right now. He gets bullied at school and never stands up for himself, his parents are always shouting and they never spend time together as a family unit. He's coming in with bloody noses and bruises on his body adn there's nobody there besides from me to tell him it's okay- and there's only so much I can do! I can't tell him all the time because he doesn't listen, that's what friends are supposed to say. Even when I offer to help him he only tells me I'll make it worse and I know he's right..." Dan rants, throwing his arms up in the air in fustration. "I just want him to be happy, Mum." 

"Oh, Daniel. Sometimes it's not really as easy as that. People can't just  _'be happy',_ there needs to be something to make the happy. Be empathetic with Kyle- put yourself into his shoes. Imagine if your mum and I were always shouting at each other,  Fran never spoke to you, and you hated to go to school. Where would  _your happiness_ come from?" His dad asks, but Dan can't answer because he knows the man has a point. "Do you see where I'm coming from?"

"Well... Well yeah, but I just- I just wish I could do something about it. I wish that he could go to school and not be scared of being hit, and at least hve somebody at home who cares about him."

Mr Smith smiles and ruffles his son's hair. "He'll come around, Dan. Don't worry so much. Just remember, our house is always open to him if he needs somewhere to stay." 

 

"Be back by the time the street lights come on!" Mrs Smith shouts after he son as he peddles down the street on his back and away from their small cosy home. His  coat blows behind him as it catches the chilly wind of the cool September morning. He and Kyle have just come off the phone with one another and have aranged to meet at the village's local park. Needless to say, Dan can't wait to see Kyle.

Upon his arrival, Dan sees Kyle's bike resting against a bench and the own sat next to it, looking out across the large lake in the centre of the park which is home to many ducks and fish. Dan can't help but smile at the sight.

He rides slowly closer to the bench and stops just before his friend. "Kyle!" He smiles, watching as the other boy looks up. He likes the way the smile grows on Kyle's face.

"Dan!" Kyle's gaze moves to the frames that surround Dan's eyes, and his smile grows even wider. "You're wearing your glasses!" 

To say that Dan hates his glasses would be quite a large understatement. He hates them and he thinks they make him look stupid, nerdy, even. The thought of that makes him resent them even more.

He feels his cheeks flush red with embarrassment. "Yeah..." He sighs, trying his hardest to resist the temptation to take them off and throw them staight into the pond. He knows that his parents would kill him if he did. "Mum said my eyesight will only get worse if I don't wear them. I guess she's right, really, so... Here I am..." Dan smiles slightly, cheeks still growing like a dying fire. "Anyway, what do you want to do?" 

The other boy just gives a slight shrug as he stands and mounts his own bike. "How about we just ride around for a little bit? Then maybe we could go to get something to eat and go to the woods- just like we did yesterday. I liked it yesterday." 

Dan smiles, loving the idea. "Sure, Ky." 

 

They, as planned, ride around the village for a few hours and past a load of old shops that have been around since both of them were born. Just past them, they notice someone who could potentially ruin their day.

"Simmons!" Sam Catlin is with his group of friends on their own bikes and hanging around near Mr Catlin's garage, where the villagers take their cars to be fixed. Dan notes, from the corner of his eye, the colour that drains out of Kyle's face and how he even casts his gaze downwards almost shamefully. "Tell me, how are Mummy and Daddy doing? Still arguing?" This ears a laugh from Catlin's posse of friends, which makes Dan's blood boil even more.

"Shove off, Catlin." Dan snarls, narrowing his eyes at the other boy, who is much taller than himself. Anger flares up from the deepest pit of his stomach and radiates throughout his entire being, spreading to the tips of his fingers and violently suffocating his rational thoughts.

Catlin turns and looks at Dan with an amused smile. He shoves his hands carelessly into his pockets.  _"Shove off, Catlin!"_ He mimics in an high pitched voice. "Mind your own bloody business, Danny Boy. This has nothing do with you, you hear? Kyle, anyway, I didn't know you had a boyfriend?" This makes Catlin's friends laugh once more, but Dan isn't phased in the slighest.

"I-I don't..." Kyle stutters, keeping his gaze on the ground. The temptation for Danto scream  _Say something!_ at the boy almost overpowers him.

"Oh, so what's Smith doing here, then?" Catlin comments, but Dan just huffs. This makes Catlin roll his eyes. "You know what, Danny Boy, you ought to take those glasses off, really. They make you look like Harry Potter. It's a bit sad, though, because you look more like the girl- Hermione; a little know it all with two friends. Shamefully, you only have one."

"Oh, you're so funny I forgot to laugh!" Dan replies, letting his words run away with themselves. "It's actually really surprising that you've ever picked a book up in your life." Catlin opens his mouth to say something, but Dan doesn't let him, "How about you leave me and Kyle alone and get back on with your sad, pathetic little life? And hey, my lack of friends makes up for your lack of mother figure, huh?" 

A flash of anger appears on the other boys' face and Dan can hear the Kyle's stuttering mumbles for him to be quiet, for them to just leave it and forget about it before too many careless words are thrown.

"I'm going to give you one chance to turn you little crappy bike around and bugger off out of my sight before I punch you, Smith. Take it now or leave it." Catlin balls up his fists and his face deepens to a shade of red with pure anger.

"I'd rather shove a damn cactus up your ars-" 

 _"Dan._ Please. Let's just go." Kyle pulls at Dan's sleeve and refuses to look up from the ground. This is all Dan needs to turn his back on the group, but with the warning for Dan to 'w-w-w-watching himself o-o-on Mond-d-day!'.

"Dan. Let's just go." Kyle pulls at Dan's sleeve, refusing to look up from the ground. This is all Dan needs to turn his back on the group but with the warning of Dan to 'w-w-w-watch himself o-o-on Mond-d-d-ay!'.

 

Dan laughs once they reach their tree in the forest. "Fancy him comparing me to a fictional character! Surprised if he can even read, honestly." He laughs, slumping down by the tree next to Kyle. "If he's anyone, he's got to be Scabbers." 

Kyle doesn't say anything. He's hardly spoken at all since the whole incident- the fact that Catlin makes fun of his stutter makes him feel even more self conscious, scared to talk, even. He didn't even speak when they went back to the Smith house to get some food. As always, Mrs Smith was more than happy to feed Kyle, too. He's practically her second son. 

"He's such an arse. Kyle, you really should tell somebody about this. It's really not fair." Dan sighs, looking over at Kyle. He still doesn't say anything. "You heard him. We should watch ourselves on Monday- well, me, but you know what he's like. He'd hurt you for even breathing." 

Guilt overwhelms Kyle to the point where he feels as though he should be at Dan's feet, apologising frantically for ever putting him through this. Tears threaten to spill from his eyes already.  _Don't be weak._ He tells himself.

"And about us being  _boyfriends?_ God, that's such a weird thing to think about. But coming from him and his stupid little mates?! I don't even wanna know what they get up to!" Dan pretends to throw up which makes a smile appear on Kyle's face.

But then an image appears in Dan's mind of himself and Kyle, both of them lying in Dan's bed. They looks considerably older, but they are in each other's arms. Butterflies fill his stomach.

_You're being stupid, Dan. Stop it. That's a bad thing to think about._

"Please, Dan. Don't say anything else to him. I really don't want you to get hurt because of me." Kyle requests gently, his sentence taking longer than usual because of his stutter- sometimes he wishes Dan didn't put up with him, that way Dan wouldn't be getting hurt, too. Once more, he pulls his knees to his chest. Last night, his thoughts had taken over him again. He wondered what would happen if his parents found out about the bullying. Would they make him change school? He worried about what would happen if he stood up for himself, but he worried about Dan far more than anything or anyone else.

"Kyle. You're my best friend. I'm going to stick up for you. I'm going to defend you, and anyone who wants to start with you can go through me first." Dan stares at his friends, the stormy blue of his eyes conveying the seriousness. "I'm not going to let him think this is okay." 

Kyle just shakes his head. "Why don't people just let me  deal with it? I can handle all this on my own."  _No, Dan. Don't listen to me. I need you. I can't do it without you._

"Because you might think that you can, but I know you're struggling right now. I'm going to make it easier for you." He slowly places his hand into Kyle's as he speaks, and the other boy takes it as an act of kindness. "Okay?" 

Kyle sighs, tears brimming his eyes yet again. "Okay." 


	3. Three

The weekend ends quickly and Monday reveals itself far faster than Kyle would have preferred it to. Another day off of school would have been a blessing beyond words. With it, however, Monday brings a sense of dread. Kyle really, really doesn't want to have to go to school today- or ever again, for that matter. He doesn't want to put up with the fool that is Sam Catlin, and he doesn't have to face his nasty, venomous words he spits out. He doesn't even want to face the day.

He lies in his bed, the warmth and comfort of his duvet surrounding him. He can't help but feel protected from the world as he stares up at the ceiling, hopeless for the day ahead. A weird sense of emptiness fills him. He feels like he's watching paint dry, which concerns him. Why can't he just sleep his life away?

Rain taps lightly on the window, creating a small yet beautiful melody. It's a slight good part to what he feels will be an awful day. What's the point of getting out of bed today, anyway? He's going to go to school, probably get called a tonne of horrible stuff and maybe get thrown around a little bit before sitting and feeling sorry for himself, wondering how the teachers just don't notice. All he does is burden people, and it'd be best if he just kept his useless self out of people's way.

"Kyle, Kid. Come on, get up. You can't lie there in bed all day." The soft voice of Kyle's father follows a flood of light as the door to his bedroom opens with a creak.  _Why not?_ Kyle thinks to himself as his dad remains there by the door, a frown of worry spreading across his face when he son doesn't give an answer. "Kyle? What's up?"

The young boy only sighs and closes his eyes, remaining still as he does so. This is so out of character for Kyle- or is it? It's been so long since Mr Simmons has had a one to one chat with his son that he can't even remember when it was.

"I don't want to go to school, Dad." He confesses, "I really, really don't want to." 

The young boy's father releases a short laugh of some sort and makes his way over to his son's bed. "Oh, Kiddo. Everyone has moments like these, you know?" He says quietly, sitting next to his son's legs on the single bed. He notes the boys quiet, tired eyes, unmoving. "Nobody wants to go to school- it's common with teenagers. I was just the same... But you're never usually like this. What happened to happy-go-lucky Kyle who liked going to school because he could hang around with Dan?" 

Kyle just shrugs, finally turning his attention away from his ceiling and to his father. "It's just... I don't know. I can't stand it. I don't like the people there." 

Mr Simmons narrows his eyes in suspicion, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. "What about Dan? Is this anything to do with him? Have you both fallen out or something like that?" Kyle shakes his head. No, Dan is the opposite of the problem. "Then... What is it? What's going on?" 

Kyle lifts himself up, though he feels it takes more effort than it probably should. His hair is a wild bed head. "It doesn't matter, Dad. I'm being pathetic." He looks to his dad, "I'll get dressed. It's fine. Don't worry about it." 

"No, Kyle. Tell me what's wrong. I want to know, you're my son." Mr Simmons gently places his hand delicately upon Kyle's shoulder, and the young boy closes his eyes as tears begin to sting them. When he doesn't give an answer his dad speaks again, this time with concern lacing his words more than ever before. "Are you... Are you being bullied?" 

"No!" Kyle says quickly, faster than what he would have preferred to. "Dad, listen to me. I'm just being moody- I'm fine. I don't want to go to school but I have to deal with it. That's it." 

"Kyle, listen to me. Nobody cries because they don't want to go to school, especially you." A silence fills the room. "Look, you might not want to tell me, and things might be a little rough right now, and our relationship may not be the best and I completely understand and respect that. However, I will always be here if you decide you want to talk, okay?" 

"Okay, Dad. Can you go so I can get changed now, please?" Kyle asks, rubbing his eyes to rid them of the tears that fill them.

"You know what, Kyle? I think you and I ought to spend the day together. It's been too many years since we've done that." 

 

Dan looks over to Kyle's empty seat in the pairs English classroom. A frown spreads on his face and he can't help but wonder what happened to Kyle. Mrs Simmons hadn't given him much of an explanation- she just said that Kyle was having the day off today, but if anyone at school asks, he's been sick all night. Mrs Simmons' lack of full explanation only sparks worry even more- but then, it feels to Dan like she doesn't care much about her kids.

The bell rings to signal the end of the lesson, snapping the boy out the trance he finds himself in. when he realises he's going to be alone all day, he gives a sigh and loneliness begins to set it.

"What's up, Smith? Is your boyfriend not here?" The voice makes Dan want to explode into flames already. God, he hates that boy. Dan just walks over to his seat, next to Kyle's, in science.

"Shut up, Catlin," Dan says as he gets his book out of his bag and places it on the desk. "He's not my boyfriend and you know it."

"So what did he do then? Kill himself? That's what he needs to do." Even his friends don't laugh at this one. Dan feels a sharp pang in his chest and his heart lurches.

"You better shut your damn mouth," Dan warns, staring daggers at the boy.

"Why shouldn't he? give me one good reason. Just look at him, Smith. How will he ever pass his exams if he can't even f-f-f-finish a sentence?" 

"Sam..." One of his friends says, "Stop it. That's too far, now..." 

"He's pathetic. Honestly, the world would be far better off without a freak like him. He's never going amount to anythin-" 

Dan rises out of his seat, and before he knows it, Catlin is bent over and holding cheek where a bruise is beginning to form.

"Don't you ever speak about Kyle like that again, because he deserves so, so much better than somebody like  _you_ bullying him all the time. If you say anything again, I will actuall kill you." Anger flares through his body. Catlin looks up and swings his fist right at Dan's cheek, just like the boy had done to him. Dan is one step ahead, though, and ducks down, but another fist follows straight into his stomach. Dan gives a cry in pain, the air suddenly escaping his lungs.

"Boys- come on, break it up!" The teacher says as he comes into the class room and pulls the two boys apart.

 

The car rumbles beneath Kyle and his dad as they drive. Kyle has no idea where they're going, but Mr Simmons seems to have a destination in mine.

"Where are we going?" Kyle asks quietly, looking over to his dad.

"Well I figured we could go to that record shop you like and then maybe get something to eat? Then we could go and do something else. It's up to you." His dad offers. His son immediately looks over at him. The particlar record shop is in the next town over and it's usually quite expensive. He goes there once a year usually.

"Really?" He asks with excitement in his voice. When his dad nods, he feels as though he may scream with joy. "I love you, Dad."

 

When they reach the shop, Kyle looks around every section and every shelf. He has a limit on four vinyls only (usually it was six, but it's not a special occasion). He already has one tucked under his arm.

But one in particular catches his eye and makes a smile cover his face. "Dad?" He calls, turning around to spot his dad who is speaking to the cashier. He walks over to them with the record in hand. "Can I get this one for Dan? It's his favourite artist- he hasn't got this one yet, and I don't mind it coming out of my four." 

His dad smiles at him, "Of course, if you think he'll be happy with it." 

Kyle smiles and runs off to find two more.

 


	4. Four

"I thought you'd be here," Dan says clearly as he approaches Kyle in the forest after school that day. His stomach is bruised quite horribly from the punch, an area of purple painting his pale skin. The other boy is sat against the large oak tree as he is most times the pair have been here. A bag is set next to him. It's not his school bag.

Kyle looks up towards the voice as he gives a slight jump. When he realises who it is- none other than his very best friend- a smile warms to his face. "I was hoping you'd come," he speaks quietly. Dan finds this annoying at times- it's something he does at school so nobody can hear him stuttering. Dan doesn't care if he stutters or not, he'll still be his best friend no matter what. "I'm really sorry for not being at school today." 

"Yeah, where were you? Your mum didn't really give me much of an answer this morning," Dan asks curiously as he takes a seat next to Kyle. His stomach begins to hurt as he moves, which makes him groan in discomfort. He places a gentle hand over the area, Kyle's eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Yeah, I had a bit of a rough morning." Kyle doesn't want to mention the hopelessness he felt this morning. He waves his hand in dismissal. "What happened to your stomach? Are you okay?" 

Dan laughs and takes a deep breath- but even that hurts slightly. "Catlin didn't like the fact you weren't at school, and he told me so." He explains to Kyle, tugging up his school shirt. Dan's stomach still holds a little bit of puppy fat that he doesn't like, but it's only Kyle who is looking, and he knows Kyle won't judge him, so who cares?

The other boy's eyes widen at the sight, the purples and browns painting the fair skin of his best friend. "Don't laugh, Dan! This isn't funny at all!" A frown spreads over his face as he inspects the area closer. He's so close to Dan that Dan's heart rate increases. "What happened?" 

Dan shakes his head, "I'm not going to repeat it, Kyle. It really annoyed me. He shouldn't-" 

"Dan, please, just tell me." Kyle looks up at the other boy's soft blue eyes and gently takes his hand in his own. "There's nothing he could say that he hasn't already told me." 

For a moment, Dan can't help but let himself get lost in Kyle's eyes- but when he regains control, he diverts his gaze to the muddy floor. "He asked me this morning in science if you had killed yourself, and told me that's what you need to do." His voice is laced with annoyance and anger, and he uses his free hand to pull down his shirt. He likes Kyle holding his hand.

 _Maybe he's right..._ Kyle thinks to himself but quickly dismisses the thought.  _Catlin can never be right._ "Oh..." He mumbles, the grip of Dan's hand loosening a little bit. He feels a bit sick, and he wants to cry.  _Why are you such a wimp?_ He asks himself. Sometimes he wishes he could do that. At least that way he wouldn't be bullied, Dan wouldn't have a pathetic best friend, and his parents would have one less thing to argue about. Perhaps that would even help their marriage. "I-erm..." 

Dan steps in and squeezes Kyle's hand. He refuses to let his friend think like that. "Don't believe him? Yeah, me neither. I think you're wonderful, Kyle, if that counts for anything. I think you're kind, you're smart, you're generous, and I don't know where I'd be or what I'd do without you." 

Kyle smiles, but he can't find the words to speak with. It feels like there's a ball clumped up in his throat which doesn't allow him to speak temporarily. He crawls slightly closer to Dan and lays his head on his shoulder. He likes being close to Dan.

 

"Oh, so you're back then, are you?" Catlin teases the following day as the boys walk into school, "What a shame. I was hoping to never see you again."  

"Go away, Catlin," Dan says, walking straight past them with his head held high. Kyle matches his pace, though, as usual, he keeps his gaze on the floor. 

"Oh, Danny Boy, you know you won't always be there to protect s-s-stuttering Simmons over here, right?" He replies with a sinister grin at Dan.

"So what, you'll get him when I'm not here? Cowardly, if you ask me." Dan stops walking and turns to face the group of boys. "Good luck catching him when I'm not here, anyway." 

"Oh, Danny. There will come a day when Kyle is alone. Actually, you might be with him. But six against two would never work out." 

"Just leave us alone, okay? We've not done anything to you." Dan grabs Kyle's sleeve and leads the boy away.

"One day, Smith. One day in the future, I can promise you we'll get the better of you." 

 

 

Time flies quickly when you're spending it with your best friend. Dan feels like it's gone far too fast, and the pairs GCSE's are rapidly approaching since they're both fifteen now. Kyle feels like it isn't going quickly enough- he can't wait to get out of school and forget about the incidents with Catlin which still pop up on a daily basis. The words the ignorant boy had said just a few years ago still make his heart drop. But there was no way he was serious about it, right?

"What're you thinking about?" Dan asks Kyle as they sit in Dan's room, snuggled under the blankets together. Dan holds Kyle close, and his head is resting against Dan's chest. The 'friendly' gesture provides support and love between them.

"How much I really don't want to go to school tomorrow," Kyle replies, slowly blinking in the darkness. The duvet covers them both, and Kyle likes it being like this. It's like Dan is protecting him from the world. Kyle likes Dan protecting him.

"I won't ever let him hurt you, Kyle. I will never,  _never_ let him touch you." He replies with confidence in his voice. He grabs the other boys hands.

Kyle wishes he could believe Dan. The only way he could ever escape Catlin would be just to leave altogether- but he doesn't want to do that. He's happy here with Dan, wasting all of his time around his house with him. He doesn't like going home. His parents are still arguing to this day, and it's still as bad as it was when Kyle was just thirteen- but Kyle is far worse. The words got to him, and his thoughts were used as a brittle edge to cut into his wrists. He doesn't take off his school blazer anymore.

"I love you, Kyle," Dan says quietly, but Kyle knows he means nothing by it. Part of him wishes it meant at least something.

"I love you too, Dan," Kyle replies, snuggling closer to his protector and closing his eyes.


	5. Five

Kyle hides his face away in his hands as he tries to keep the world from seeing his weakness. He sits alone in his bedroom, the words of his mum shouting at his dad still ringing in his ears.  _I want a divorce._ After all these years, his parents still hadn't managed to achieve some sort of common ground- and this was the result. Filing for a divorce.

His little sister doesn't really understand what is going on. She grew used to there being arguments many years ago, but now Dad is packing all of his stuff to leave- but she doesn't really  _get it._ Meanwhile, Kyle sits in his cold bedroom almost suffocating under the weight of his anger, upset, and heartbreak.

He finds his relief in the form of a small silver blade, allowing it to relieve his worries. It provides a sense of freedom that he hasn't felt in a while. Suddenly, it feels like he's Icarus. His wings work, and he flies free for a little bit- although the knowledge that it's only a matter of time until his wings melt looms over him. Until that happens, though, he flies far, far away, to a place where nobody bullies him, to a place where his arms are free of marks, and to a place where he is happy to Dan.

_Dan._

The stairs creak beneath him as he skips down them and rushes over to the phone hanging on the kitchen wall. The house is considerably quieter now- no shouting, no cursing. Just silence. Mr Simmons had made his departure ten minutes ago to stay at Kyle's grandparents' house until everything is sorted out. That's in the next town over, though, and that's ages away.

" 'Ello?" Dan's voice is almost as relieving to Kyle as he finds his blade to be. He pulls his sleeves over his hands.

"Dan, can we meet by the trees?" Kyle's asks with a voice brimming with upset and worry. Dan picks up on this and there is no hesitation to his answer.

"Course we can," he answers quickly. "Ten minutes?" 

"Okay?" 

 

Given the fact that it's three o'clock on a Saturday afternoon in December, the forest is considerably darker than the boys usually ever get to see it. It's not completely pitch black, though the light is fading fairly quickly.

Dan is overwhelmed with worry as he walks the familiar path. the upset in Kyle's voice hurt him, hitting him straight in the gut. He knows things at home aren't really great at the minute- well, when have they ever been? And Kyle, especially with Catlin there all the time, is getting a lot worse. He fears for Kyle's safety every night, so much so that sometimes it'll keep him awake.

"What's up?" Dan questions Kyle as he reaches the tree with his torch in hand. "Kyle, you okay?" 

As the teenager approaches Kyle, he can already hear his soft, choked sobs, and his slight sniffles that follow. Dan rushes towards him and kneels down to his level. Gently his pulls his hands away from Kyle's face with his heart in his mouth- his worse fear is to see Kyle's face battered and bruise with blood trickling from his nose and mouth. To his relief though partial concern, the only marks on Kyle's face are tear streaks.

"Kyle?" He asks with concern saturating his voice.

"They're getting a divorce," Kyle whispers, looking up and into Dan's sparkling blue eyes, the concern in them is proving overwhelming. Dan is shocked as he looks into Kyle's eyes, noticing how much of a deep, chocolate brown they are. He can only stare as he loses all of his words. How on Earth is he supposed to reply to that?

"Oh, Kyle... You know this was a long time coming..." He grabs Kyle's hands and raises them until they gently touch his lips. He plants a gentle kiss to the boys' knuckles as an act of support. "It'll be better for everybody in the long run. You can't expect them to stay together if they're not happy." He sits facing Kyle, opening his arms and letting Kyle embrace him just as he has done so many times in the past. "Everything works out in the end." 

"I just... I can't believe they haven't managed to work anything out." He mumbles quietly, burying his head into Dan's shoulder, which has broadened a lot in the past few years. "I just can't believe Dad's leaving us..." 

Dan is very fond of Kyle's dad. It seems a lot of the time that his mum doesn't care about him at all, so Kyle has always trusted and confided in his dad.

"Hey, listen to me, okay? At least there will be no shouting now, and there will be peace. Things should get better. My house is  _always_ open for you if you need somewhere to stay, and I am always here for you." There's a pause as the two just embrace, Dan comforting Kyle, and Kyle falling evermore in love with Dan's warmth. He wishes he never had to let go. Why can't Dan be with him all of the time? 

Kyle finds feelings confusing. Whenever he thinks about Dan, he gets a tingling in his stomach that he can't quite explain, and his heart gives a little flutter. He loves Dan, of course he does- but  _love love?_ No, surely not. How could he? He's not made for love. He's not made to  _be_ loved. He doesn't even know what love is- how is he supposed to be in love?

"I tell you what, let's go out tomorrow. Just me and you. We'll get something to eat, yeah? Then we can go and watch a film, or something. After, we could go back to my house, and you can talk to me, and you can tell me everything that is bothering you. Sound good?" 

Kyle smiles. "Perfect." 

 

Dan decides to ask Kyle if he wants to sleep over tonight- at least it will help Kyle to keep his mind off of things. Kyle agreed, and they popped back into Kyle's house on the way back to get pyjamas (shorts and a long sleeved t-shirt), and to tell his mum where he was going. She didn't really give an answer. She didn't really care by the sounds of it.

The two lie on Dan's bed together in each other's arms. Kyle likes it like this.

They're in practical silence, and Dan is quite happy sat there listening to one of his vinyl's playing in the background (the same one that Kyle had bought for him all those years ago), with Kyle wrapped up in his arms. His face is resting in the crook of Kyle's neck, and Kyle's face is on Dan's chest. The duvet is pulled right up over the pair to keep them warm, and the strong smell of Dan's aftershave fills the room. It smells nice.

"Dan?" Kyle asks quietly, way beyond being in love with the situation.

"Hmm?" 

"What... What are we?" He questions, moving his head to look at Dan. He has his eyes closed. "Is this... Is it normal to cuddle in bed together?" 

Dan just shrugs, opening his eyes. "Dunno, Kyle. We can be whatever you want to be." He watches as Kyle's cheeks turn slightly pink, and he smiles. "If you want to be just friends, we can be just friends. If you want to be something more, then... Well, you're my best friend. I can't imagine a world without you, and I think about you so much that it genuinely drives me crazy. If it means that you're by my side for the rest of my life, I'm perfectly happy with that. If you want to be something, then we can try." 

Kyle nods, suddenly feeling guity for his nasty habit. He falls silent again.

Fear bubbles inside of Dan, but he doesn't show it. He wonders if he's made Kyle uncomfortable, and he doesn't like that thought. He doesn't like Kyle not being happy and comfortable. 

Minutes pass by quickly, and so many go that Dan begins to think Kyle has fallen asleep until the boy speaks once more.

"Dan?" 

"Yes, Kyle?" 

"I think... I think I want to try. I think I want to try  _us."_

 


	6. Six

True to his word, Dan took Kyle out the next day. The older of the pair was far more confident than the younger, making sure he held the boy's hand all day and never once let go of him. Kyle likes to hold Dan's hand, but sometimes he fears the public's opinion of them both. In such a small village, news spreads fast. They had gone to the cinema, albeit it rubbish and run down, to watch one of the films they both wanted to see. Kyle had never been happier than in that moment, cuddled with Dan and in fits of laughter. He's happy to be able to call Dan his boyfriend.

 _Boyfriend._ The word circles around Kyle's mind once more as they sit by their tree again, wrapped up in each other. Dan is playing with playing Kyle's hands, mindlessly toying with his fingers. They're in complete silence and listen to the birds as they sing in the branches about them. One of Dan's blankets is sprawled over them- it keeps them warm, and Dan had bought it for this reason.

Kyle feels a lot better with the knowledge Dan is there- so, so much better. He adores the boy- if anything were to ever happen to Dan, God knows what he'd do.

"Hey, Dan," Kyle says quietly, looking up to Dan. The other boy returns his look, waiting for him to continue. "I don't wanna go to school tomorrow." He tells him, a feeling of horrible sickness bubbling inside of him at the idea of seeing Catlin ever again. The bully had taken up boxing now, and not a school day passed where Kyle wouldn't come home with a bloody nose or horrible bruise forming. Yet the teachers continue to do nothing.

"Oh, Kyle... I know you don't. Just remember, though, I will never let him touch you. He can go through me first if he wants you." Dan isn't the strongest person and neither of them would stand any chance against Catlin or any one of his friends- but the thought is there, and Kyle appreciates that.

"I really can't stand him, Dan. I have no idea what I ever did to him which made him hate me so much..." Kyle shakes his head, and suddenly, he can hear all of the horrible words that Catlin had brainwashed the vulnerable boy into believing, and he can hear him making fun of his stutter, which still hasn't gone.

Dan plays with Kyle's hands even more- and Kyle's stomach gives a nasty lurch as he feels Dan's hands slowly crawl down his sleeve and onto the rough scabs of his cuts. He tries his best to pull his arm away before Dan feels them, but it's too late.

The other boy's breathing comes to a sharp halt, his eyes widening. His skin suddenly goes to a milky white and his heart plummets. "Kyle..." He whispers, slowly looking to his boyfriend, who hangs his head in shame. "do you...?" 

Kyle's silence is all the answer he needs.

"Can... Can I see?" He asks quietly. Kyle nods. As gently as he possibly can, Dan rolls the sleeves to Kyle's hoodie up, and he feels like being sick. Over the boy's forearm lies far, far more marks than a few, all crossing over one another and painting his arms in a mixture of dark red and fading pinks. "Oh, Kyle... I-uh...I..." 

"Think I'm stupid? Pathetic? Yeah, me too. And I hate myself for it." Kyle hides his face in his boyfriend's shoulder, feeling tears prickling his eyes. "I can't do anything right, Dan. I deserve it." 

Dan wants to scream. He wants to cry. He just wants to bundle Kyle up and take him far, far away, to a place where nobody can hurt him.

"Kyle, shut up. You don't deserve it, okay? You have your flaws, as do I, but people don't mind flaws. I don't mind the fact you can't speak fluently, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. But there are absolute  _dickheads_ like Catlin who decide to take these flaws and make the person hate them. I love you for you, for who you are, Kyle, and nothing, or nobody, can change that. Okay?" Dan feels Kyle slowly nod against his shoulder. "And doing this," he gently runs his fingertips over Kyle's arms, "Doing this only makes things worse. I know you may find it relieving now, but there are alternatives which are much, much better. If you ever want to do this again just call me. I'll be straight over, okay?" 

Kyle swallows a lump in his throat, feeling his eyes water again. He knows he won't keep that promise. "Okay..." He chokes out, broken sobs escaping from him. "I'm sorry, Dan." 

Dan says nothing but kisses the side of the other boys head. "Love you, Kyle." 

 

Kyle's house is cold again, and he can't help bt feel overwhelmed by guilt. How on Earth could he ever be so stupid as to do it in the first place? Then he feels guilty for not doing it again.

"Mum's going on a date tonight," Kyle's eight-year-old sister tells him as she stands by his bedroom door. Kyle is lying on his bed with his vinyl player spinning in the background.

The boys feels a flare of anger rising up from the pit of his stomach and his eyebrows furrow. "Already?!" Dad left only a few days ago!" 

The young girl just shrugs and disappears, and Kyle is left confused. He quickly rises to his feet and marches over to his mum's bedroom, pulling his sleeves far over his hands.

He hammers on the door with the side of his fist. "Mum?" 

"What?" She replies as Kyle pushes the door open. He notices how bare it looks without the pictures of his family, and his parents together.

"You can't go out on a date tonight!" He says, sitting down on the bed. "Dad left, like, three days ago! You can't be over him that easily!" 

"Kyle, you don't understand," his mum replies, continuing to apply bright red lipstick. It matches her red heels. "You have to put yourself out there- who knows, this man could be your new father."

"He will never be my dad, oh my God, Mum! Listen to yourself,  _please!_ You can't just expect to get rid of our dad and then just go get another dude around here pretending that Dad didn't exist!" 

"Look, Kyle. I'm choosing what I want to do, and if I want to go on a date then I will. Nothing you can do will change that." Mrs Simmons turns to her son with anger in her eyes. Kyle feels sick with fear.

"Well-" 

"You live under  _my_ roof, you follow  _my_ rules. If you don't like it, then leave." 


	7. Seven

Kyle didn't leave. He really didn't have the guts to. Instead, he sat in his room the entire night absolutely fuming over the fact that his mum had gotten over his dad so quickly. Why couldn't he just have a normal life, with normal, happy parents and he and Dan could be together without fearing the ridicule of the public, or more importantly, Sam Catlin? Why couldn't he be happy? It's all he wants.

Kyle has been told by his dad since he was very young that you should never go to bed angry- but what else was he supposed to do? He wouldn't go and apologise to his mum because, at the end of the day, she was wrong. So, unlike he usually would so early, he tucks himself under many of his blankets at just six o'clock and goes to sleep.

 

"Dan," Kyle asks the shorter boy during break time the following day. They've just come from their different form rooms and now have met back up at the stairs.

"Yes, Kyle?" Dan replies, not looking up to the boy though focusing on his geography homework. Kyle sits close to him. His glasses are sat on top of his nose, and Kyle can't help but admire how cute Dan looks in them.

"I, uh, I got into an argument with my mum last night- well, it wasn't really an argument, but it kinda was," Kyle rambles, suddenly regretting saying anything at all.

Kyle notes the way that Dan's hand stops writing. He pauses for a beat before continuing. "What about?" 

"She got over Dad pretty quickly... She went out on a date last night. He was still there this morning..." He explains as he casts his eyes to the ground.

"Well... I mean,  sometimes some people find it easier to get over heartbreak than others. What was the argument about?" Dan shuffles ever closer to Kyle but keeps his eyes focused on the book on his lap.

"I said that it was wrong of her to go out on dates when Dad is sleeping on Grandma's sofa. Then she said if I don't like her rules, I don't have to stay in her house." 

Dan stops writing and immediately looks up to Kyle, mouth slightly open. "And...? Did you leave? You should have come round mine, Kyle! You know that my door is always open, especially for you." 

"I didn't leave. I didn't really have the guts to. I just thought that it was a bit of a crappy thing to not only do but to say." Kyle huffs, feeling a horrible weight sitting on his heart and shoulders. "I think I just need to get used to it..." 

Dan leans over and hugs Kyle tight. He doesn't care that they're in school right now and that Catlin could be anywhere- he just wants to comfort his boyfriend. He doesn't know what to say to Kyle, but actions speak louder than words.

"Do you want to go and see your dad tonight?" Dan offers Kyle, gently slipping his own hand into the other boys. "I'll take you."

"How would we get there?" Kyle muses, "My grandparents live in the next town over," 

A frown spreads across Dan's face. True, neither of them could drive yet, and it's not like they could just walk there. "We'll take the bus. I'll pay for us, Kyle, consider it a present. If we leave school and go to my house to get changed- you can borrow my hoodie, and then we could just go. We could be back before midnight." 

Kyle shakes his head, "I don't know. That's a lot of commitment... I really appreciate the thought, Danny. I really do, but just not now. I'm sorry." 

"Well whenever you're ready, Kyle, I'm here." 

 

Kyle's hands fly to his neck to try and get the man, pinning him against the wall, off of him. "Who are you?!" The stranger demands, pushing further into Kyle's throat.

"What the- get off of me!" Kyle yelps as he tries to pry the man off of him. "I live here you nut case! Who are you?!" 

"Oh God, you're one of those annoying kids who s-s-s-stutter, huh? God, I knew she had kids but I never thought they'd be fucked up like you. God, that's going to be really annoying." The man gives an annoyed groan and allows Kyle to drop to the floor. As the boy lands, he takes a deep breath.

"Speak for yourself," he mumbles, cheeks flushing red. "Who the Hell are you?" 

"Your mum's new fella. I'm living here now." He grunts, his voice thick and rough. Kyle frowns.

"You  _what?"_

"I'm living here now." He repeats, looking at Kyle like he's stupid as he rises from the ground. "Your mum asked me to live here with you guys this afternoon." 

"This is such bullshit. It's not even been a fucking week." Kyle storms upstairs, anger rising throughout him again. God, he hates this man already.

"I don't like him, neither," his little sister says, once again stood by the doorway. "I think he's stupid." 

 

"Hey, Dan? Can I speak to you for a moment?" Mrs Smith says as she enters Dan's bedroom. The boy his hunched over his desk, looking confused at his notes for the upcoming English mock exams.

"Huh?" He asks, not even looking up from the papers. The notes sprawled out in front of him are written in an array of bright colours on post-it notes ranging from pink to yellow.

Mrs Smith walks over to her son's bed and takes a seat on the edge of it. She doesn't really want to have the conversation, she just wants confirmation. Carefully, she straightens out Dan's bedsheets.

"I saw you the other day," she tells Dan, not looking up to him. She knows he won't be looking at her. 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah. When you were with Kyle, er, holding hands..." 

"Oh..." 

"Yeah." She pauses for just a moment and notices the way that Dan's pen sits perfectly still in his hand. "I don't mind. I really, really don't. I just want to know if you are, you know, a thing. I love Kyle, Dan, he's like another son of mine. I'm so happy that you and him are happy, okay?" 

Dan smiles, though he feels a red hue creep up his neck. "Thanks, Mum. I really appreciate it." He finally looks up to her, and she looks up to him. Mrs Smith rises, as does Dan, to give her son a hug.

"I love you, Dan." 

"Love you too, Momma." 

 


	8. Eight

Dan and Kyle walk out of the school gates together the following Thursday, hand in hand. Kyle doesn't know if he's happy that the day has ended and he can finally leave, or whether he's scared of going back home. Yet again, he and his mum's new boyfriend had been in another argument last night, and it turns out the man likes to use violence to sort out his problems as opposed to words. Kyle spent quite a lot of the night pressing a bag of ice to his face to stop the bruises too bad and trying to stop his nose from bleeding. Dan didn't really question it.

"So, so, so," Catlin says as he clocks them holding hands, "Suppose the rumours are true then, Simmons. You do like it up the arse." 

Like he has done for all the years Catlin has bullied him, Kyle hangs his head. Dan just keeps his head held high.

"Fuck off," the black-haired boy says, giving Kyle's hand an ever so slight squeeze. "Nobody cares about what you have to say." 

"Oh, Smith! Feisty today, aren't you?" The boy comments with a scoff. "Oh God, you just have one of those punchable faces- and it doesn't help any that you stick up for your s-s-stuttering b-b-boyfriend there all the time. God, I thought it was just a rumour- I can't believe you two are actual faggots." 

"Catlin, you better shut your damn mouth." Dan threatens, halting in his tracks and turning to the boy. "I'm serious. You better shut the fuck up." 

Catlin scoffs out a laugh and his friends are in stitches of laughter. "Oh, yeah, 'cause you're definitely going to do something, huh? Look at you, Smith, you couldn't scare a ghost. Apart from that little freaky hair thing you have going on. How about you leave Simmons to us like you should have done years ago, and trot off on your merry little way and find another faggot to be your bum-buddy?" 

Images fill Dan's mind and he immediately pushes them away- Kyle is lying on the floor, screaming and crying in pain as the others kick him and punch him. He looks like he's going to give up at any moment. Dan pushes the images away and snaps.

"In your damn dreams! You'll never touch Kyle for as long as I can do something about it!" Dan roars, finally turning away from the boys, much to Kyle's relief.

"Well, we'll have to sort that out, too..." 

 

"What do you think he means?" Kyle asks Dan nervously as they settle down by their tree again. "It didn't sound good, Dan. They're going to hurt us." 

"No, they won't, Kyle. They're wimps, they won't hurt anyone." Dan looks to Kyle and maintains the tight grip on his hand. "Especially you. I won't let them." 

Kyle doesn't feel at ease any. He's scared of everything nowadays- he's scared of his mum's boyfriend, he's scared of Catlin and his friends, and in a sick sense, he's scared that Dan doesn't love him like he says. He knows he's being stupid with that last one, though.

Silence consumes the space around them as Dan helps Kyle with his homework, snuggling up and using Dan's coat as a cover for their legs. Kyle has his head leaning on his lover's shoulder, and he can't help but feel a little bit pathetic hat he's the taller one but always needs to be protected.

"Are you cold?" Dan notices the way Kyle's teeth are starting to chatter and how he's slowly inching ever closer to Dan.

"Just a little bit," Kyle mumbles, "But I don't want to go home." 

"Why not?" 

"Mum's got a new boyfriend. I can't stand him." Kyle diverts his gaze once more to a ladybird that is crawling on Dan's coat. It's become awfully cold now, and Kyle is surprised they're still around.

"Oh..." Dan replies. "Do you want to sleep around my house tonight? My mum won't mind- and my dad's out on a work do." 

Kyle shakes his head- yes, the idea does seem very tempting, but it'd be unfair if he left his little sister there all alone. He bets his mum's boyfriend and his sister haven't even spoken, but he doesn't even want to leave her alone with him all night.

"I'm sorry but I've got to make sure my sister is okay. I'm really sorry, Dan." Kyle suddenly feels like the world is coming to a crashing halt- he's stood in the same loop that won't ever end.  Goes to school, gets hit by his bullies, goes home, gets hit by his mum's boyfriend. There feels like there will never be an end to it.

"Stop apologising," Dan says, packing his bag up and taking the coat off of their legs, slowly shuffling back into it. "Come on, I'll walk you home, anyway." 

"Can... Can I be a pain, Dan?" Kyle asks sheepishly, slowly trailing behind Dan. 

"Kyle, you're never a pain." 

"Well... Can we go and see my dad this weekend? Me and you. He likes you- and plus, then you'll get to meet my grandparents and they'll also probably love you. I love you." Kyle rambles on which makes Dan laugh.

"Of course we can, Kyle. I'll take us there on the bus. And I love you, too." Dan leans up to kiss Kyle and nuzzles into his neck. "Now come on, it's getting cold." 


	9. Nine

Kyle wakes up on Saturday morning feeling sick with excitement. Apart from seeing Dan, it feels as though there's not really been anything to look forward to for quite a long time.

He peels off the mountain of blankets and climbs out of bed. The air around him is cold, and if it were a normal Saturday, he'd just crawl back into bed and bury himself once more. Today, however, he fights through it and walks off into the bathroom where he quickly washes and brushes his teeth.

Words cannot describe how excited he is to see his dad, but the thought of going with Dan, and Dan finally meeting his family as not just his friend but as his boyfriend just makes him all the more excited.

"Mum!" Kyle calls when he leaves the bedroom, quickly hiding his arms with the jumper he slept in. He doesn't care about the bruises that paint his ribs anymore- mainly because they were caused by his mum's boyfriend anyway. They're hidden by his arms, anyway. "Mum!" 

"She's out." The thick, gruff voice replies. Kyle immediately feels sick and he can feel a lump in his throat begin to grow. "Why do you want her?" 

The boy buries his arms deeper into the jumper, praying to hide the cuts away from the man. Some of them are more recent than he cares to admit. If he had to explain them to him would be even more dreadful.

"I'm going out today," Kyle explains, feeling so self-conscious that it almost makes him just turn and run off into his bedroom. "I'm going to see my Dad. I'll be back late." 

 _"I'm_ your dad now. Your mum left him for a reason and that's why I'm here. Someone here needs to be the man of the house, and clearly needs to teach you how to be a man." 

Kyle scoffs at the comment and rolls his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. You're not my dad, and you never will be. I'm meeting Dan soon, so I need to go and get dressed." 

"I'm your dad now!" The man roars once more as he stalks Kyle into his bedroom. With his back turned to the man, Kyle quickly shrugs on a clean jumper out of his wardrobe. "And who's Dan?!" 

"But you're my dad! You should know who Dan is!" Kyle shrugs with a cocky smile on his face. This only adds fuel to the man's burning fire. A look of complete anger takes over his face.

"Don't get cocky with me, Kid." 

"Well stop acting like my dad then! He left and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with it." Kyle sighs- true, he did suspect that perhaps his mum was seeing this man before she left his dad. She did move onto him awfully quickly. 

"Watch your damn mouth." The man growls, prowling closer to Kyle. The boy shrinks in his frame and his heart is hammering like a drum in his chest. He doesn't let it show, though. He'll never let it show.

"Well get out of my face, then!" Kyle shouts back, shoving the man away.

He doesn't like what happens next.

 

When Dan meets Kyle by the bus stop, he can't help but notice the set of bruises forming on Kyle. A frown of worry spreads across his face, but when he questions it, Kyle only shrugs and tells him to forget about it. 'No biggie.' He said to Dan, but this only made him worry more.

Half an hour later, and ten minutes late, the bus comes rumbling around the corner and down the small lane. When they get on and Dan pays for their tickets, Kyle feels a pang of guilt. Surely if Dan is doing Kyle a favour by going with him all this to see his family, surely Kyle should be the one paying?

"Thank you, Dan. For doing all of this, I mean," Kyle says quietly as the bus rumbles beneath them. They pass Mr Catlin's garage and Kyle diverts his gaze back to Dan. "I really appreciate it." 

Dan smiles as Kyle speaks and slowly entwines their fingers together. "No problem, Kyle. If it means anything, I'd like to see your dad again. It's been a while." 

 

"Kyle!" Mrs Simmons smiles sweetly when she opens the door to see her grandson stood there. Dan is stood slightly behind Kyle, feeling awkward as he stands there. "Oh, dear, do come in. And who's this?" 

"This is Dan, Grandma," Kyle smiles as he grabs Dan's hand and pulls him forward slightly. "Are Granpa and Dad in?" 

Mrs Simmons smiles, her elderly eyes crinkling with love. "Of course! They're in the living room. Do you want anything, boys? A cup of tea? I made an apple pie just this morning- do you want some of that?" 

Kyle turns and gives Dan a knowing look as he kindly accepts the offer. The pair go into the house and kick their shoes off by the door. Dan follows suit, hanging his coat up next to Kyle's a discarding his own shoes.

They enter the living room to see the two men sat on the edge of their seats with their eyes glued to the TV screen in front of them. Dan smiles- Kyle's dad hadn't changed at all throughout the years.

"Hey, Dad, Grandpa," Kyle greets as he walks into the room. Dan trails behind him, the smell of freshly baked goods drifting through the house.

They both look away from the TV, Kyle's voice shocking them slightly. Smiles spread on their faces when they realise the two younger boys are stood there, and Kyle's dad wastes no time in hugging his son.

"Ah, Kiddo! I'm so happy you're here! I missed you!" Mr Smith says as he wraps his arms around the boy.

 

After Kyle has introduced Dan properly to his family (they didn't really care much when he said they were a couple) they sit around the living room table with mugs of tea. Dan speaks to Kyle's grandparents as though they're his own, going on about everything and anything from school to their tree in the forest. Whilst he talks, Kyle turns to his dad.

"Dad, Can I speak to you in private for a minute?" He asks him, a slight bubble of worry bursting in his stomach.

His dad nods and smiles, "Of course," he says and excuses both of them for the room. They stand in the hallway, and as soon as the door clicks shut, Kyle throws his arms around his dad and breaks into a fit of sobs. "Kyle-" 

"I hate being at home without you there, Dad," he cries, "Mum's got a new boyfriend and he's horrible and me and Millie both hate him, and Mum's never home anymore and he think he's our new dad and he's not and he never will be and I hate him so much!" His words come out in rambles and they don't really make sense, but he still seeks comfort in his father just as he had done when he was young. "I really want you to come back home, Dad." 

"Oh, Kid. You know things didn't work out between your mother and I- and there's nothing really that I can do. Who your mother decides to be in a relationship with is her choice, and unfortunately, you have to live with that until you can move out." Mr Simmons explains as he gently rubs Kyle's back. Kyle just wants to spew out the truth- he's abusive, he gets drunk too much, and he doesn't even like Kyle that much in the first place. He wants Kyle to leave as much as Kyle wants o leave. "Look, I'm looking at getting a flat soon, and you can live with me if you want- it just means you will have to leave Dan and Millie behind. There won't be space for three of us to live there-" 

Kyle's heart feels like it's being torn in two. "I can't leave Millie there, Dad. No. She hates him just as much as I do. And Dan- I can't leave him there, too." 

Mr Simmons says nothing but continues rubbing Kyle's back until the boy settles down, his sobs becoming that of just hiccups.

 

"It was lovely seeing you!" Mrs Simmons waves from the door with Kyle's dad and Grandpa stood next to her. They all wave them off, Dan carrying a thermal flask of tea and Kyle wish a box of freshly baked cookies. They have no idea where they came from, she just handed them to the boys as they left.

They walk down the street together, laughing about the day. It's been far better than Kyle hoped for, and the news of him and Dan being together- he had just slipped it into the conversation- had only positive reactions (Kyle's dad even claimed he suspected it would happen, which made Kyle and Dan laugh. Mrs Simmons spoke about the other alternatives to having kids. This made the teenagers quite uncomfortable).

Kyle feels tired, though. So, so tired. The warmth from the cookies and the tea they both keep drinking is just making him worse, and, for once, Kyle can't wait to get into bed and go to sleep.

"I've really enjoyed today, Dan," Kyle mumbles quietly as they wait by the bus stop. He was really happy that he could have a conversation with people he doesn't see often and yet they still don't point out his flaws- his stutter, or even the fact that Kyle had cried on his dad. Dan noticed the boys puffy eyes and the slight damp spot on his dad's  shirt, but nobody else did, so he decided not to bring it up.

"I've really enjoyed today, Dan," Kyle mumbles quietly as they wait by the bus stop. He was happy that he could have a conversation with people he doesn't see often and them not point out his flaws- his stutter, or even the fact that Kyle had cried on his dad. Dan noticed his puffy eyes and the slight damp spot on his dad's shirt, but nobody else did. Dan decided not to bring it up.

"I have too, Kyle. I really like your family," Dan replies as he fishes in his wallet for the bus ticket, wherever it's gone, as the headlights for the bus come over the hill.

"I like my grandparents. And my Dad. I love them." Kyle sounds so tired and drowsy that his brain isn't making his sentences make sense. Dan smiles and grabs his boyfriend's hand, leading him quietly onto the bus.

They don't speak anymore, but the rhythmic rumbling of the bus beneath them sends Kyle to sleep, his head resting on Dan's shoulder and his own hand in Dans.

Dan likes Kyle resting on his shoulder. He doesn't mind being used as a pillow, especially not for Kyle. He loves Kyle.

The bus rumbles down the thin country lanes which lead back to the boys' home village as Kyle sleeps away undisturbed. Dan can't help but eat cookie after cookie and take long drinks from the thermal flask. He takes his scarf off at one point and wraps it around Kyle.

He really, really loves Kyle.


	10. Ten

It's almost one o'clock in the morning when the bus finally reaches it's final stop and the boys need to get off. Dan shakes Kyle gently, running his thumb over the boy's cheekbones.

"Come on, Kyle," he whispers as the engine continues to rumble beneath them. The few others that were on the bus climb off. Most are industrial workers dressed in high visibility clothing, and they gave Dan and Kyle a few weird looks during the journey- but then again, it's not ever day you see two teenagers on the bus at twelve at night in such a small village. "It's time to get off." 

Kyle shifts slightly, his eyelids fluttering open to reveal his muddy brown eyes, so out of focus and touch with the world that it melts Dan's heart. "Huh?"

"We're home. Come on," he gently helps the boy up and off of the bus but not without thanking the driver. Kyle doesn't look as though he's awake enough to walk back to his house alone. "Kyle?" 

"Hmm?" The other boy responds, his eyelids feeling heavier than ever before.

"Here," Dan gently takes one of the boy's arms and tucks it over his shoulder, lifting him off of the ground in a fireman's lift. Kyle gives a small, dozy laugh, but Dan is surprised on how such a tall boy could be so light- but then again, he is so naturally thin.

He carries Kyle back to his own house like this, not entirely comfortable with the idea of taking him back to his own. He has been to Kyle's house in the past and has experienced the horrible biting cold. He'll always remember the embarrassment on Kyle's face as he stuttered about how his family couldn't afford to pay the heating bill most of the time. He also doesn't want to run into his mum or his mum's boyfriend- Kyle's told him about how much he hates them.

The Smith house is quiet when Dan comes home, and, with Kyle still over his shoulders the entire time, he locks the door and traipses upstairs.

Kyle looks so peaceful lying on his bed, somehow still asleep throughout the entire journey back home. Soft snores fill the room, and Dan can't have but fall even more in love with Kyle as he changes from his jeans into a pair of pyjama bottoms, and settles down next to the boy, wrapping him up in a bear hug and falling asleep with him.

"Have you ever thought of having speech therapy?" Dan's mum asks Kyle the following morning. The conversation had drifted to Kyle's stutter. Nobody really knows how.

Kyle nods, his mind drifting momentarily to him practically begging his mum to let him go there, and her persistent no's, the:  _you'll grow out of it, Kyle. Stop being such a baby,_ comments, and his own tears. In a way, he resents his mum for not letting him go. Maybe he wouldn't be bullied if she had.

"I tried to convince my mum to let me go." He admits as he eats a bowl of cereal. He doesn't remember getting home last night- he just vaguely remembers Dan waking him up and then saying his name. "She didn't let me. I don't know why. She just thought I'd grow out of it. I haven't, clearly." 

Mrs Smith frowns and glances to her son, only to see he is gazing at Kyle, awe in his eyes.  _God,_ she thinks to herself with a slight smile,  _he is so in love._

"Oh... Does she do anything about it now- since you haven't grown out of it?" She questions before taking a long sip of her tea.

Kyle shrugs, "Honestly, I don't think she cares much about us anymore." He admits, and a pang of guilt hits Mrs Smith. A frown spreads on her features and concern kindles in her stomach.

"Why not?" 

"Well dad left and a few days later she already had a new boyfriend. I don't think I've spoken to her since then, and I doubt Millie has, neither." Kyle would usually hate speaking to anybody. He hates his words, he hates the way he speaks, and he hates himself. But for some reason, he feels as though Mrs Smith is different. He likes speaking to Mrs Smith.

"Oh. I'm really sorry to hear that, Kyle. Remember, though: our door is  _always_ open if you need somewhere to stay. And that includes for Millie." She tells him, shuffling over into the hall to get her shoes and coat. "Anyway, boys, I need to go and see Grandma now. Are you two coming?" 

"No, thanks, Mum," Dan says quickly, rising from his seat and taking Kyle's bowl from him. Mrs Smith leaves.

"Well, I guess I'm done, then..." Kyle mumbles, looking up at Dan with confusion in his eyes. "What's all that about, then?" 

"Come on, let's go to the tree." 

"Why, what's so important there?" 

"Nothing, I just want to- oh, just come on, will you?" 

 

Dan drags Kyle through the forest to get to their destination quickly, his burning desire and passion threatening to die. Their familiar route is now laid out like a path with the amount of times they have followed it.

"Dan-" 

At Kyle's words, Dan can't hold it any longer. He pushes the boy up against the tree and crashing his lips onto the younger boys. This takes Kyle by surprise and his eyes open with shock. Warm heat travels up his body, a sort of heat he has never felt before. It doesn't take him long at all to push himself into the kiss, and slowly but surely, his guts turn to mush and he falls ever more in love with Dan. Doubt still picks at his mind, though-  _how could somebody so perfect like you ever love somebody so flawed like me?_ He wonders, putting his hands into Dan's hair.

"Kyle-" Dan pants, moving from planting wet, soppy kisses on the boy's lips to placing them on his neck. "I love you." 

Kyle smiles, warmth, love, and glory taking over his body. "I love you too, Dan." 

 

"Kyle?" Kyle's eyelids feel far heavier than they have done in a while. "Kyle?" 

"Hmm?" Kyle replies, feeling the nipping cold biting all along his arms and legs. His bedroom is dark and Kyle suspects it must be about three in the morning. He can't feel his fingers or toes.

"I'm cold and I think there's something in my room..." Millie explains, her quiet voice laced with fear. Her teeth chatter and Kyle feels a hit of empathy. "Can I sleep in here, with you?" 

Kyle doesn't like that thought. He knows what Millie is like- she likes to starfish herself out, which means Kyle, being as tall as he is anyway, has no room. Subsequently, he ends up lying on the floor.

"Please, Kyle? I'm really, really cold. I really don't want to wake up Dad..." 

"He's  _not_ our  _dad,_ Millie," Kyle says through gritted teeth, anger once more flaring up in the pit of his stomach.

"But he says-" 

"It doesn't matter what he says! He's not our dad, so stop calling him so." He rises out of bed so Millie can climb in. When she does, he balances himself on the edge so he can move to the floor once Millie falls asleep. He'd never be able to sleep like this in a billion years- but it's not like he could say no.

"Okay, Ky. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight, Millie. I love you." 

"Love you too," she says quietly, bundled up beneath the blankets before she falls quickly asleep.

Kyle frows, slowly lowering himself to the floor and wondering why it's his sister that has to suffer like this. Why can't she find comfort in her mother anymore? Why does she have to go cold?

Thoughts of himself are long forgotten now as Kyle lies on the floor, tucked up into a tight ball with his arms wrapped around him, trying to keep warm.

 


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys, but here's the new chapter!  
> Just a question, do you like this fic? And what do you think is going to happen?  
> Thanks for reading, my loves <3

Anger consumes Dan's entire being when he sees the stupid boy's stupid face. "Oh, honestly! Can't you just fuck off?!" He grows as the boy stands by the school gates. Kyle isn't with him today- in fact, Dan doesn't know where Kyle is at all. He presumes he's at home since the pair didn't meet this morning. If he had waited any longer, Dan would have been late for school himself. He can't help but be concerned about Kyle- he didn't mention it, but the blossoming bruise on Kyle's cheek when they went to go and see Mr Simmons really concerned him.

Catlin huffs out a laugh, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "Oh, Smith. It's pathetic of you to think I'm bothered about you." His friends don't laugh this time- there isn't a hint of emotion on their faces. "I'm looking for your boyfriend if anything. Thought I might be lucky enough to catch the little faggot alone today." 

Dan sets his jaw, trying is best to sunder his anger and not attack the boy. "Good luck, then," he replies with a voice as cold as stone, "I'm trying, too. And don't  _ever_ call him a faggot." 

Catlin just rolls his eyes at Dan, choosing to ignore the last comment. Floods of other students flow past them and into the school, many their with friends and some still half asleep. "So what, then?" Catlin asks, "Has he run away? Yeah, I'm not surprised. I'd run away from my life it was like his, too." 

The other boy chooses to bite his tongue and continue to smother the angry fire which roars away in his chest. He wishes he could just stride up to Catlin and give him a taste of his own medicine, to break his nose, or just to make him realise how much pain and upset he causes people. Somehow, though, he manages to restrain himself from doing or saying anything more. He turns his back and walks away from the crowd.

Instead of anger now, confusion fills him. Why didn't Catlin's friends laugh at his comment? They clearly didn't find it funny, but for them to have not laughed was strange. In fact, now that he thinks about it, they haven't laughed at any of the jokes that Kyle has been made the butt of recently. They don't even try to cover the fact that it's not funny anymore. 

One of Catlin's friends- a tall, blond haired boy called Jake that never pays either of the boys any attention- is in Dan's history class. The pair have never spoken because they sit on opposite sides of the classroom, so when Dan enters the room to find him stood by the side of his desk, he cannot help but feel surprised. Everyone else is still entering the classroom or preparing for the lesson which allows the duo to speak without getting told off.

 _"What?"_ Dan practically demands once he reaches his desk, not caring enough to hide the confusion on his face. He has a habit of letting his face show exactly what he's thinking.

"Look, I know you probably hate me, and really, you have every right to do so. I would, too, if my boyfriend had been put through all the torment that Catlin thinks is funny for all these years. But... But things are going to go really downhill soon, okay? I don't know what that boy is planning, but he's going to do something soon and it's going to be really bad. He hasn't told us about it, but he's up to something, so please,  _please_ be careful, and don't ever let Kyle go somewhere without you. I know it sounds stupid but he's got everyone, and I mean  _everyone_ wrapped around his little finger. Just be on the lookout, okay? Because that boy has serious problems, and Kyle is his one and only target." 

 

To say that Dan is confused would be a massive understatement. In fact, he is completely bewildered about the entire day, and nothing makes sense anymore. Why on Earth would Jake warn him if he and Catlin are friends? It doesn't make sense.

The words circle around Dan's head for the entire day so much so that he got told off for not paying attention during science. They even follow him as he walks to Kyle's house once school finishes. A mental debate takes place in his head on whether or not he should tell Kyle what Jake had said. Surely it's some sort of sick plan to make him and Kyle paranoid?

When the house comes into view, Dan shakes away the thoughts and lets the words fall from his shoulders. Everything about Kyle's house radiates the opposite to what home should feel like. Even the welcome mat on the floor is torn and half bare, as though it was put there and forgotten about decades ago.

"Who are you?" A strange, rough, unfamiliar voice questions Dan once the door swings open. The man has to be at least a few inches taller than Dan, and his expression is rock hard. His salt and pepper hair only adds to his aging appearance, and Dan, like Kyle, immediately takes a disliking to the man.

"Dan." The younger boy answers back, attempting to match the man's expression. He's aware of how much Kyle hates this man, so he doesn't make a conscious attempt to prove anything to him.

A flash of recognition appears in the man's dull green eyes, and he takes a small step to the side to allow Dan into the house. "Well, I wouldn't go near him." 

"And why's that?"

"He's full of cold. But usually, I wouldn't, anyway." The man snorts a pig like laugh which makes Dan just roll his eyes- how horrible can you get? No wonder Kyle doesn't like him. 

Dan doesn't bother to take his shoes off before he walks up the stairs in fear that his feet would freeze on the hardwood floor beneath them.

Kyle's back is faced to Dan as he lies on his bed, not so much as a blanket but a jumper wrapped around him. His arms hug around his torso, and large white clouds of breath appear in front of him. His eyes are closed, but Dan knows he's not asleep.

"Go 'way." He hears Kyle's rough, brittle voice from the bed. His nose sounds stuffy, which is proved to Dan by his constant sniffling. His usually tall frame looks so small on the bed, and it makes Dan frown. In all of his years of bullying and heartbreak, he's never seen him look so small, so vulnerable.

"Kyle, Love. It's me." He says softly, stepping into the bedroom. He immediately takes note of the mold spreading from the corners of the room, down the walls, and across the ceilings. "Why aren't you covered up? Where's your quilt and blankets?" 

Kyle opens his eyes to reveal them to be red and watery. His nose and cheeks are red, though when Dan places his hand on Kyle's forehead, it's far too warm. "Millie has them," the sick boy explains, his throat feeling awfully scratchy and sore.

"Why?" Dan questions, gently crouching down and taking Kyle's hand. Even his hands feel dry.

"She needed them. She was cold last night. Slept in my room. I slept on the floor." Kyle's eyes close once more, and he tries to hug himself tighter to keep his warmth in. It feels as though he's freezing half to death- he's never been so ill in his life. "Dan, I feel so sick..." 

"That's because you have the flu, Kyle, and we need to get you somewhere warm before it gets any worse and turns into pneumonia or something like that." Dan rises and strips himself of his coat, gently helping the boy sit up. He takes note of Kyle's dozy movements as he puts his coat on him. "Come on, we'll go back to my house. It's warmer there, and I'll make you a cup of tea."

Dan helps Kyle to his feet, watching the almost zombie-like boy. Kyle doesn't complain all the way back to Dan's house- even his mum's boyfriend didn't seem to care that Kyle was leaving. Dan reckons he was just happy to have him gone.

 

"You lie right here, okay? I'll go make us a cup of tea," Dan smiles, running his hand through Kyle's hair. It feels sweaty and damp which makes Dan scrunch his face up. Kyle just gives a small grunt in response, wrapping himself up in all of Dan's covers. He hates the thought of making Dan ill, but the other boy had promised to sleep on the sofa- and he was right, anyway. It would only get worse if he left it.

Dan trots down the stairs only to see his mum already stood at the kettle with three large mugs already prepared.

"How is he?" She asks Dan quietly when he enters the room. Dan walks over to her, wrapping his long, lanky arms around her shorter frame. He's always been the tallest in the family, just overtaking his dad and cousins.

"I think he's got the flu. I said he could sleep in my bed tonight, and I'll sleep on the sofa. I don't care, though, as long as he is safe and comfortable, then it's fine. It's really upsetting, Mum- his house, I mean. He had no blankets on him whatsoever because his little sister had them because she was cold, and slept in his room, so he slept on the floor. The house is stone cold and there's mold growing everywhere- he could have gotten really ill!" Dan rants and raves, ridding of his frustration at once. His mum just rubs his back, not being able to find the words to speak with. What on earth can she say?

When the tea is brewed and ready, she hands two of the mugs to Dan. "Here, at least this will warm him up," she tells her son with a smile, planting a kiss on his forehead- standing on her very tiptoes to do so.

"Thanks, Mum! You're the best!" He grins, disappearing up the stairs and into his room. "Kyl- oh..." 

Kyle is already fast asleep in the bed with a whole mountain of blankets covering him to keep him warm. He's miles away in his dream land, and although it means a cup of tea has been wasted, it means he has a temporary break from being so ill. He has a temporary break from life.

 


	12. Twelve

Dan wakes up with a startle, a burst of violent coughing from Kyle in his bedroom above him bringing him back to consciousness. He can't see through the darkness, but the clock on the wall reads that it's three-twenty-one. It's darker than he thought it would be, given all the streetlamps outside.

He rises to his feet silently, cracking his back in the process. His feet are numb since they were hanging off of the sofa, but he ignores them as he pads into the dark kitchen and reaches into the cupboard for a glass, which he then fills with cold water. He grabs a few pills for Kyle.

The house is so quiet that Dan can hear everything- the pipes clunk and the low hum of the fridge is oddly annoying for something you never hear. The boiler in its cupboard upstairs makes a few clicks which makes Dan smile- he likes it when it's like this. When it's so quiet that you can hear everything, ever aspect of life that you never would have known of previously.

His thoughts of peace and silence are interrupted once more by another short fire of violent coughing from Kyle. A frown of worry spreads across the face of the blue-eyed boy, the image of Kyle's own face, pale and sweaty, still clear in his mind. How could Mrs Simmons get away with having her children living in a freezing cold house like that? It's not as though she gives them any attention, or tries her best for them, either. Surely it's neglect?

The stairs beneath him creak as he ascends them, the cup and pills in his hands. He doesn't feel tired at all, despite the fact that he's just been woken up at three in the morning. Part of him supposes it's because he's playing nurse to Kyle, but he would do it forever, even if it meant waking up at stupid o'clock.

The lanky boy's body, now seemingly smaller than even Dan's, is covered in a thin film of sweat. The blankets that once covered him are now kicked to one side of the bed, forgotten about and un-needed. His chest rises and falls in heavy heaves, his breathing laboured and rough against his already sore throat.

"Kyle," Dan whispers, cautious not to wake his parents or siblings in nearby rooms. "Hey, Kyle. Come on, Love, I've got you some tablets and water here," 

The boy stirs some and lets out some sort of defeated sigh, follow by a heavy breath. Dan winces at how rough he sounds.

"Dan?" Kyle whispers, his red, puffy eyes opening once more. His voice is horribly hoarse and it doesn't help to raise Dan's hope that he's getting any better "Time is it?" 

"Half three," Dan replies as he gently takes a seat next to the other boy on the bed. Kyle accepts the pills and water with no hesitation, quickly swallowing them and drinking the water as though he hasn't been able to drink for days. "How're you feeling?" 

Kyle shrugs, running his hand through his hair. He's disgusted at himself for how sweaty and damp it is. "Shitty. Everything hurts and you now need to, like, de-infect your room when I'm better." Dan gives a small laugh at Kyle's comment, which makes Kyle smile. His lips feel horribly chapped. "I really appreciate all of this. I really, really do. I think I'd be in hospital if you didn't do this for me, Dan." 

Dan smiles and plants a kiss on his boyfriend's stubbly cheek. He adores being able to call Kyle his boyfriend- he loves him to the moon and back and would do anything for him.

"I love you, Dan," 

"I love you too, Kyle," 

 

When Dan discovers that all of his family are out the next day, either at work or school, and Kyle will be alone, he decides to take the day off. Kyle, looking slightly better, finally ventured out of the small Dan he'd made in Dan's bed and downstairs to where the boys played video games all morning.

When the clock reads just before one in the afternoon and the boy's round of Mario Kart on Dan's trusty old N64 has been won (somehow Kyle had managed to pip Dan at the post and take the victory for himself), Dan turns to his boyfriend.

"Wanna watch a film?" He proposes, wincing again as Kyle coughs, his body lurching forward slightly. Kyle just nods, not bothering to mention to Dan that he's tired. He'll probably fall asleep during the film, so he lets Dan choose whatever he wants to watch.

"Come on, then," Dan laughs, holding his arms open for Kyle once the film has started to play. Kyle looks over at Dan from the opposite end of the sofa with confusion on his features.

"What?" 

"Come here," Dan insists. His arms do look warm and comforting, but...

"No, I'll make you sick," Kyle replies with a shake of his head. He doesn't want to make Dan sick. That'd make him an awful boyfriend.

Dan just shakes his head and practically pulls the boy to lie with him, savouring the warmth and comfort that Kyle emits. He really loves Kyle.

"Dan?" 

"Hmm?" 

"I really, really love you. I do, but honestly, you're such an idiot." 

Dan just laughs. "I know." 

 

Dan watches Kyle as his eyelids begin to droop. Part of him is happy because this means he can have the whole tub of pringles he'd put on the table for them both for himself.

He snuggles his face into the back of Kyle's neck and closes his own eyes. Kyle is holding one of Dan's hands to his chest. Dan can feel his heartbeat and the irregular rise and fall of his chest. It relaxes him slightly, making his own eyes feel droopy and tired.

When the pair met all those years ago, when they were merely three feet high, Dan could have never, ever guessed that this would happen. He never thought he'd be so in love with his best friend, but he loves it. He loves Kyle.

But he's scaredd. Catlin is going to hurt Kyle, if not both of them, and Dan knows it's going to be bad.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo, what do you thinks going to happen??? ;) ;) ;)


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I feel bad for what's gonna happen in this story lmao

"What do you think of this one then, Ky? Do you like it?" Dan asks as he shows his outfit off to the taller boy with a bellowing laugh. He turns himself around, showing Kyle all aspects of his outfit.

They had both fallen asleep on the sofa together, tangled up in each other's limbs for a few hours until they woke up and decided to chill upstairs in Dan's room, listening to his vinyls.

Dan has slicked back his hair, thrown on a white t-shirt, a black leather jacket, and some light blue ripped skinny jeans. The only way that Kyle can think to describe him is that he looks like Alex Turner.

Kyle lets out a laugh and shakes his head. "Surprisingly handsome. Very angsty." He feels considerably better now that he's been dosed up on tablets and medicine, not to mention the few days he has spent asleep, recovering. "I like that style." 

The boy checks himself over in the mirror, giving himself a quick look up and down. He's actually quite fond of the way he looks right now. "Yeah?" He replies with a smile breaking across his face.

"Yeah. I think it goes really well with the hair, the eyes... Everything, really. I can't flaw you." Kyle smiles once Dan turns around to walk back over to him. He meets Dan half way, lips meeting in the middle. "I like this Dan." 

Dan feels his cheeks heat slightly as he chuckles, his hands still firmly planted on either side of Kyle's face. His heart feels as though it may explode with pride, happiness, and love at any moment. "I like this me, too." 

The turntable sat on Dan's bookshelf slowly mutes itself, the record coming to its end. Dan looks up and over to it with a smile on his face.

"I've got an idea," he tells Kyle as he walks over to his record box. He flicks through the masses of them and picks out his all time favourite, even after all these years.

"I can't believe you've still got that!" Kyle laughs as the music fills the room. A smile spreads on Dan's face once more as he walks back to Kyle, pulling him up onto his feet.

"Why would I ever get rid of it?" He holds Kyle's hands and rests his head on his shoulder, slowly dancing around the room with him. "Anything you get for me is worth keeping." 

Kyle buries his head in Dan's shoulder as they sway together in their own little world, wrapped up in love.

"I don't think I can ever love somebody as much as I love you, Dan." 

 

When the weekend comes around, Kyle and Dan go back to the cold Simmons house. Initially, Kyle had asked Dan to wait outside because he knows he'll get shouted at by his mum and her boyfriend. Dan knew this, too, so he refused to wait outside. Kyle doesn't deserve to be shouted at.

Dan being in there with him, however, only made him even more nervous. It wasn't until they both left, Kyle with a small bag with clean clothes and his uniform inside, that he felt slightly relieved.

 

"Simmons!" Kyle's blood runs cold when he hears the voice behind him the next time he is at school. Fear runs through his veins like water flooding a sinking ship, and it makes him feel immediately sick and dizzy.

The time he has spent at Dan's house these last few days has been beyond amazing, and it's really helped him get better. He suspects he probably would actually be in the hospital had Dan not come to his rescue. Part of him worries that he has been in the way of the Smith family, though. They continue, like they always have done, to act like Kyle is another son of theirs, but he fears they may just want him gone. He decided last night that he'll go back to his own house tonight- even if he is a little scared to.

"Leave me alone..." Kyle mumbles with a voice so quiet that he doubts Catlin even heard him- but he did. He shrinks slightly in his coat.

Something flashes in Catlin's eyes, but Kyle doesn't know what it is.

"You know what, Simmons, I've actually missed you the entire time you've not been here. Well, I was even a little bit worried about you," Catlin goes on further, the pair standing alone in the courtyard of the school. Kyle prays for Dan to hurry up from his from so he can tell Catlin to fuck off. He really hates himself for not being able to stand up for himself.

"Why? Lemme guess, is it because you haven't been able to hurt me, to make my life Hell?" As soon as he does so, Kyle immediately regrets opening his mouth.

Something else flashes over Catlin's face. This scares Kyle, and his heart jumps to his throat when Catlin steps towards him.

"Listen to me now, Simmons. I'll get you one day. One day soon, because at the end of all of this, when stupid old Danny boy isn't there to protect you,  _you are mine._ And I will never, ever let you forget that. Am I understood?" 

Catlin's speech carries a sinister undertone which makes Kyle feel sick. He's hissing his words down Kyle's ear, feeding them to him as though he'll believe them. Kyle tells himself not to- but he doesn't think he'll listen.

"Leave me alone. Dan will always be there." Kyle argues back, his voice stumbling and stuttering more than ever. He hates it.

Catlin laughs. It's a sharp and evil laugh, and it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up in fear. "Not unless I get rid of him first, and trust me, I have all of this planned down to a T. Watch yourself." 

The boy walks away as though nothing has happened at all. It leaves Kyle feeling shaken and sick with worry. Why can't Catlin jjust leave him alone and let him live a peaceful life?

Dan appears just a few moments later with annoyance evident on his face.

"I'm so sorry about that, Kyle. Mrs W kept me behind to help with one of the inter-form things. A competition, or something." Dan rolls his eyes and grabs Kyle's hand, running his thumb over his knuckles. "Have you seen Catlin?"

Kyle has a mental debate over whether or not to tell Dan about what has just happened, but he settles on not telling him. He doesn't want to worry Dan anymore.

"No, I haven't."


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, guys.

It's almost nine o'clock at night now and the forest is dark. The boys have been sat in the same place, the same position all evening since they finished school earlier in the afternoon. They rest against their tree in the forest, below their initials which were carved into the tree many years ago. Only recently they decided to draw the crooked love heart around them.

Dan pushes further into Kyle's lips, kissing him harder and with more force. Animal like moans come from the pair as they kiss, the passion between them burning like a roaring fire.

They pull away from each other with hot, heavy breaths warming the air around them slightly. They stare into each other's contrasting eyes, love radiating from every pore in their bodies.

"I can feel your breath," Dan laughs as his hands gently glide up Kyle's shirt to rest on his waist. He loves being able to just touch Kyle- just the fact that he is there with him in the moment is enough to make him fall in love all over again. "Why won't you speak?" 

Kyle, through all the love, the passion, the lust, still feels slightly sick and nervous. He doesn't want to live his life like this anymore- he doesn't want to live under the constant fear and pressure of Catlin, his mum, or his mum's boyfriend. He doesn't want to not be able to speak a fluent sentence. He doesn't want his arms to be covered in cuts, but he just can't stop himself. He doesn't like it, and he wishes it'd all just stop.

Tears slowly fill his eyes. He feels his breathing hitch and he can't help but feel annoyed at how weak he is for crying so easily. He scolds himself for not acting like the man everyone tells him to be. The lust in Dan's eyes slowly melts aways into concern.

"Kyle?" 

The boy remains silent, staring into Dan's eyes until he just buries his head into Dan's shoulder, allowing the tears to run freely down his cheeks. They both know that nobody wants to speak right now, but everything will come out sooner or later. Dan just allows Kyle to cry on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around him and protecting him from the world around them.

"Aw. How cute." 

The voice cuts through the air like a hot knife through butter, making Dan's stomach drop. Kyle raises his eyes and looks to the owner of the voice, who is stood by another tree with a nasty, sinister, twisted smirk on his face. It makes the two boys' blood run cold.

"Oh my- leave us alone!" Dan snarls at him, letting Kyle get off of his lap before he rises to his feet. "Please, won't you just leave us be? Why are you so obsessed with making his life Hell?" 

Catlin laughs and throws his head back with a roar. He's so, so much bigger than both Dan and Kyle, and so much stronger. The smaller boy feels slightly intimidated and overwhelmed slightly with fear. He dreads to think how Kyle must feel...

So Jake wasn't lying, then. And this is it. This is what he warned him about...

Kyle is shaking with fear. He wonders what will happen to Dan- the bully's words ringing constantly around his head: "If I get rid of him first." It doesn't take a genius to work out that this won't end well. His stomach does double flips and a feeling of complete sickness takes over him.

"I'm not here for  _you,_ Smith. I'm here for Simmons- like I've told you before, I will get him when you're not there." Catlin sounds so sinister and evil that his voice alone sends shivers down Dan's spine, and the boy watches the look on his face and how the confusion takes over his features.

"But... But I am here...?" Dan mumbles quietly with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He feels like his voice is getting caught in his throat, and he doesn't like it. "S-Sam..." 

"I told you, Smith," Catlin reaches into the pocket of his hoodie and pulls out a knife- a few inches long and horribly sharp. "If I have to get you out of the way, I will." 

If Dan wasn't scared before, he certainly is now.

"S-Sam...No, it doesn't have to b-" A flash of anger shines in Catlin's already evil eyes, making Dan's stomach do flips, mirroring Kyle's.

 _"You had your chance!"_ Catlin roars, silencing the boy. Dan moves to block Kyle out of the way. He promised Kyle he would protect him. "You had your  _fucking chance_ to get out of my way, Smith. You had your damn chance, and this is what it has come down to. It's all your fault." 

"Kyle,  _run,"_ Dan whispers, trying not to let his fear show in his voice. Dan tries to push him backward a little bit, so he'll take the hint and get himself to safety.

Kyle wishes he could take Dan's advice. Instead, he stands glued to the floor and unable to move himself, because when Catlin strides forward and Dan's pained screams fill the air, he feels his already broken world start to crumble more.

The pain is unbearable. It pushes Dan to the verge of passing out- Hell, he didn't even think it was possible to experience this amount of pain.

He doubles down, but Catlin keeps pushing harder, determined to at least get him off of the scene, if not kill him off altogether.

"Sam-" Kyle says, moving forward finally. "Sam, no! What are you doing?!"

The boy doesn't answer as he lets go of the knife, leaving it in Dan's body as he slumps to the floor. They can both hear him crying, hear him whimpering like a wounded animal.

Then Catlin moves once more, this time towards his favourite victim. Like so many times before in his life, Catlin paints his skin in different shades of black and blue.

But he doesn't stop there.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think will happen? Do you think Dan will live or die?


	15. Fifteen

A faint buzzing in the background tells Kyle that he's not dreaming at all. Everything is dark, but the buzzing sounds far too realistic for it to be just a dream.

Everything feels weird. He feels strangely numb, as though somebody has pumped his body full of drugs to stop him from experiencing anything. It's a strange feeling and curiosity flows through him.

It confuses Kyle that he doesn't know where Dan is, and why he can't feel the boy next to him. His mind flickers to an image of himself and Dan, both six and five playing together in a sandbox. It then slowly transforms, the colours slowly blending and the scenes changing. Now it's them both in a tree, not too much older. Dan was too scared to go any higher, but Kyle didn't care and was already several branches above his best friend. The third image is one that Kyle remembers very clearly: They're both stood next to each other in their secondary school uniforms. Kyle thinks it's cringy, but seeing Dan there once more makes everything better, and he smiles.

But then that smile drops as another image appears in Kyle's mind. There's blood  _everywhere-_ Dan's blood. The boy's body is slumped on the forest floor, unconscious. For some reason, he can move now, so he crouches by Dan.

The sight is barbaric. There is a knife lodged in Dan's stomach, blood seeping out of the wound like water, and it makes the boy feel sick. Dan's usually bright, lively eyes are staring up towards the stars, now dull and lifeless.

He tries to wake Dan up and attempts to apply pressure around the wound like he'd been told to do so many times. Dan doesn't respond at all, lying in the dirt completely lifeless. His skin is ghostly pale, but Kyle still lives on the hope that he'll just _wake up_.

There's no pulse when Kyle presses his fingers to Dan's neck.

Once more, the colours of the world begin to fade, but this time into darkness. Dan is slowly disappearing from his grip, but he just wants to sit there and hold Dan. But now he can hear more- it sounds like it's from a different room, but it's there. There is a squeaking noise and something that sounds suspiciously like snoring right next to his ear. Kyle doesn't like that.

But he thinks of Dan. He thinks of the poor boy slumped on the dirty ground with lifeless eyes and greying skin. He thinks of all the memories he has with the boy, all the time they have been around each other, all the times Kyle has fallen asleep with Da next to him, and it fills him with strong determination to start trying. Exactly what he's trying to do, Kyle is unsure of, but he's trying nonetheless.

 

The teenager lifts his head which feels like it contains nothing but bricks. Dan is lying on his arms which are folded beneath his head, resting on the arm rail of Kyle's bed. He's in a deep sleep, and Kyle is relieved that the snores are his, that his skin isn't grey, and that he's not covered in mud, nor blood, and nor is he looking up for Heaven.

Kyle notices the dull green cast that is wrapped around his hand and wrist. His fingers are poking out from the end, which he uses to run through Dan's hair, just relieved that he's still breathing. The antiseptic in the air is so strong that Kyle can't decide whether it's that or something else that makes his nose and throat burn.

Dan's eyes gently flutter open. They're red and puffy, and it's clear that he has been crying. Still, through the tears and pain, there is love and life. As soon as he sees Kyle's open eyes watching him, looking back at him, he takes Kyle's hand out of his hair and tries to stand to just  _hug_ his boyfriend, but Kyle shakes his head, telling him to sit down. There's something seriously wrong.

"Why am I in here, Dan?" He questions quietly, his voice so hoarse it comes out almost as a whisper. There feels as though there is a heavy weight sat on his chest, and he doesn't like it.

Dan's silence doesn't provide him with much of an answer, though along with his facial expression, it gives him some sort of hint. It's not good.

"Dan, please... Please tell me..." Kyle tries his best to squeeze Dan's hand but through the bulky cast it proves almost impossible. His boyfriend wears an uneasy look on his face as he tells him to shuffle up on the bed so he can lie with him.

When Dan rises from the wheelchair that Dan hadn't noticed, he puts his hand over his stomach with a pained groan, the ache stinging his body. Kyle looks confused. 

Carefully, the shorter boy lies on the bed next to Kyle and wraps him up in his arms before he so much as opens his mouth. He really doesn't want to tell him, no, not at all. He's scared of how Kyle will react- he's far, far too innocent for something like this to happen to him.

"We were in our forest," Dan begins, the tears already welling in his eyes. "By our tree, like usual." Part of him wishes he didn't have to do this, but the other part knows that, of all people, it should be him.

"Catlin was there," Kyle interupts, suddenly noticing the array of colourful bruises that cover his fair skin, not just on his arms but his entire body, "I know that." 

"He... Well, I guess he did what he always said he was going to do, Ky. He got me out of the way first, then-" Dan's voice catches in his throat and he doesn't have the guts to continue anymore.

"I know what he did to you. I remember." Kyle's voice is only that of a whisper as he gently places his hand over the spot where Catlin had stabbed Dan, feeling the wad of bandages beneath the hospital gown.

"But then he... God, Kyle, I promise I tried to stop him- I  _swear on my life_ that I tried to stop him." Dan doesn't care about himself because he knows that his scar will heal and fade, but he's scared about what the lasting scars may be on Kyle.

"What did he do?" He asks with curiosity in his voice. He is still cuddled into Dan's chest, his boyfriend refusing to let him go.

Dan is beyond being just angry at Kyle's family. The hospital rang the Smith's first, but when they tried to contact the Simmons', nobody answered the phone. They're not even aware that their son is in the local hospital.

"Do you not remember? Nothing at all?" Dan steps carefully, already despising the words that will soon come out of his mouth. Kyle shakes his head no, wondering why, all of a sudden, Dan has started gently rubbing his knuckles. He feels so small, so child-like as he sits like this, protected by the arms of his lover.

Dan takes a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill from his eyes at any moment. He hates himself for this- Hell, it was Kyle who got it worse, not him! Kyle should be the one so upset.  _Stop being weak._ He tells himself.  _Just tell him. He needs to know._

"Kyle, h-he r-r-raped you..." The words come out agonisingly slow, but Dan didn't intend for that to happen.

A stuffy, pregnant silence takes over the room as the words filter through Kyle's mind. They process slowly, their full power not taking effect until...

The boy bursts into tears, his skin suddenly feeling filthy and so unlike his own. It feels like he's been pulled into a pit of self-hatred and self-destruction, and he craves for his arms to be painted in crimson once more. He attempts to pull away from Dan, forcing himself up. Dan keeps him in his place and maintains a steady grip.

"Kyle, you've got to stay here. I'm so, so, so sorry, Kyle. I'm so sorry. I'm your  _boyfriend_ and I'm supposed to protect you-" 

But Kyle just wails, and wails, and wails. He cries until his sobs are nothing more than broken, uneasy breaths cutting through the cold air, and he's thrown up everything in his stomach. His eyes and lungs are burning, his entire frame shaking and trembling.

Dan is crying, too. He holds Kyle closer than he ever has done before as they lie together, Dan suddenly forgetting about all the pain and all the hurt he has experienced himself and focusing on the semi-broken boy. He hates himself. He despises the fact he let this happen to Kyle, and he hates it even more that he swore to protect him against Catlin.

They don't say anything.

There isn't anything to say.


	16. Sixteen

Ever time he is awake, he can feel it. Every time he is asleep, he relives it. Every time he thinks, it's the first thing that comes to mind. First comes the absolute panic, then the heavy weight on top of him, tight hands holding his wrists and refusing to let him go- but then comes the pain, and oh God,  _the pain._ It's unbearable, and each time it happens he wishes he wasn't alive. He knows Catlin isn't there, he knows he won't hurt him, but it feels so real...

Sometimes he wakes up expecting to see his parents there, his kind, loving family. He regularly finds himself disappointed. But then he'll see Dan, and all of the disappointment turns to dust. He doesn't know where he'd be without Dan.

"Kyle, Love." His boyfriend whispers as he sits by the tall boy's bed, gently stroking his thumb over his knuckles. It's strange to see such a tall person in such a vulnerable state, but the doctors and nurses have seen it all. "Talk to me." 

For somebody who has been stabbed, Dan is doing quite well. He gets to go home tomorrow- they just need to make sure he's okay. Dan doesn't mind that he was hurt, he just wants to make sure that Kyle is okay.

Kyle shuffles slightly. "'bout what?" He mumbles with the hood of Dan's hoodie pulled far over his head. Mrs Smith had bought for him- something to cover up his arms so he didn't feel as self-conscious about them. Despite his size, however, the clothing Dan has leant him seems to drown him. 

Dan doesn't like the way that Kyle has tried to distance himself from everybody and has tried to block himself out of the world- but then, there isn't really a lot that Dan likes at the minute. He doesn't like Kyle's mum for not answering the phone (she still doesn't know what has happened. He was informed that the police are coming to speak to the pair today, so he'll mention it to them), he  _resents_ Catlin for ever doing this in the first place, he hates the fact nobody has even come to see Kyle besides from himself and his family, and he  _despises_ the fact that Kyle sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night in floods of tears calling out for his dad, yet the man isn't there to hold him. He doesn't know, either.

"Anything, Baby. Please, just talk to me." Dan moves his hand and smoothly runs it through Kyle's thick hair. His pale skin is still bruised horribly and it makes the shorter boy feel ill. Who could be so evil as to do this, anyway? Kyle hasn't done anything to anyone.

"Don't feel like it." The reply Dan receives is sharp and quick, and it dismisses the idea immediately.

The next hour ticks peacefully down, the minutes falling away as Dan watching the sleeping boy. He looks somewhat peaceful now, and at least that's something.

A squeak cuts through the air and several footsteps follow it into the room, capturing Dan's attention.

The door is open now, but Dan wishes it wasn't.

"Hey." 

"What do you lot want?" Dan sneers at the group of teenagers as they stand at the door. He glares at them, anger beginning to flare from the pit of his stomach. After everything he's done, the criminal's friends should not be here. "Can't you see he's done enough to us? _To Kyle?"_

One of them steps forward- Dan never got him name, but he really never cared about him. He was just another person who joined in on Catlin's antics.

"We need to explain something to you. Something quite important, really- but we bought these for you and Kyle," the boy says as he reaches over to his friends to grab the bouquet of flowers. It's a smile act, but an act nonetheless. "We know we really don't deserve for you and Kyle to forgive us, not by any means, but like we said: Sam has had everyone wrapped around his little finger for years. He was  _blackmailing_ us to be his friends because he had no others- he threatened us, told us he'd do everything he could to make our lives Hell. Call us wimps, but..." 

"But sometimes there were things he said were just too personal," Jake breaks into the conversation with just a shake of his head. "He was crazy, Dan, you know that. Nobody expected for him to be this bad, though. If he had told us what he would do, we would have warned you. I tried with what I knew, Dan, honestly, I did. Kyle never deserved this- he never deserved for anyone to even  _think_ bad things about him because he's a lovely person- it's just dickheads like Catlin that screw people over like this." 

So. News spreads fast, then...

"Then why didn't you stop him?!" To an extent, Dan raises his voice before he realises that Kyle is still asleep next to him. The other boy doesn't do so much as stir. "If you knew he was going to do something, why didn't you talk him out of it?!" One of them goes to open his mouth, but Dan ignores him and digresses on. "Kyle was already bad, okay? He was already cutting himself, hating his life- for fucks sake, this could trip him over the edge he was already so close to. Do you  _know_ how scary that is? Do you  _know_ how hard it is when you are so, _so_ in love with somebody, and they already hate not only themselves but their very life?

"He hates the fact that he can't speak properly, he hates the fact that his mum and dad are no longer together, he hates the fact that he  _is Kyle._ He fucking resents the fact that he has to wake up every day and put up with not only Catlin but you lot! Whether you meant it or not, you still did it!

"When I found out he was cutting years ago, I thought I was going to be sick. It wasn't from pity, no, it was from  _anger_ at you! And you, and you, and you! I swear to God, if he takes it that one step further, it will kill me, and him, and all of you would have played some part in it! We are all responsible for each other in this world- what we do, what we say, it all affects somebody out there! What we buy, what we eat, what we learn. Everything has an effect, so why are people so  _fucking_ shocked when you say this terrible, awful shit to somebody, that they end up manically depressed?!"

Dan's long speech ends sharply as he breaks down into a fit of sobs. Jake has no hesitation as he walks over and throws his arms around Dan- well, the best that he can with him being in a wheelchair. 

Kyle can hear Dan crying. He's awake, but he doesn't want to tell anybody that. Tears are welling in his eyes at Dan's words, sending horrible shivers down his spin because it's all true. When he realisd who it was that had come to see him, his blood ran cold.

 


	17. Seventeen

The court date is tomorrow. This means that the boys need to give evidence that Catlin is not only a rapist but more. Everyone already knows what the outcome will be, but Dan and Kyle are still nervous. Kyle hates the thought of ever being in the boy's presence again, the idea makes him feel sick far beyond words. Dan just doesn't want Kyle to feel like that ever again.

A lawyer sits next to Kyle's bed with a notebook in hand, though it contains only the notes the police have given him. Kyle refuses to cooperate with him, his own thoughts telling him that if he opens his mouth and says anything, it'll give Catlin more of a reason to hurt him. The lawyer, who had told Kyle his name but has now forgotten, has never really dealt with a client who has shut themselves away from the world like this.

"Kyle, come on. You need to tell us what happened- Samuel will only receive the sentence he deserves if you just tell us what he did." He reminds Kyle, but the other boy's mouth remains clamped shut.

Kyle misses Dan by his side. They had let him go home now, just telling him to take it easy and be careful. He's on his way to see Kyle right now. From the moment that visiting hours start until the moment they end, Dan is sat by Kyle's bedside, talking to him and trying to encourage him to do something.  _Anything..._

"Excuse me, Sir?" Dan's voice gains Kyle's attention as he walks into the room, the door giving a light squeak. Dan doesn't miss these rooms, but he misses the boy who lies in the bed, even if he has locked himself out of reality. "Can I have a moment alone with Kyle, please?" 

The lawyer nods and stands from his chair. As he approaches Dan, he places a hand on his shoulder. "Is your mother here?" 

"Yes, Sir." Dan nods, "She's outside, in the hallway." 

The lawyer nods once more. "Just... Try and get him to say something, okay?" He intends for Kyle not to hear, but he does.

The door clicks shut behind the man as he leaves, and there is a slight shuffling in the room and the rustling of a bag. The curtain suddenly close and the room is engulfed by a blue darkness.

"Kyle," Dan says quietly, sitting so Kyle can see him. The boy watches him, though remains silent. Fear controls him. "Kyle, come on, talk to me..." 

Dan reaches into the plastic bag he carries and pulls out a smaller bag full of glow sticks.

"All right. Well, don't. But I'm still going to do this."

He places the glowsticks on his lap and grabs the first of many. Gently, he moves so he can roll KYle's sleeves up. He would love to say that seeing Kyle's wrists and arms, covered in cuts both new and old, doesn't make him feel horribly sick. But it does, and he hates it.

Dan snaps the first glowstick and clips it around Kyle's arms. It illuminates the boy's eyes slightly, and, just for a moment, Dan can't stop staring.

He does it again, and again, and again until there are only a few bands remaining. That's when Kyle speaks up.

"What are you doing?" The teenager finally asks with his eyes glancing between the bands around his arms and to his boyfriend.

"You," Dan says as he takes Kyle's hand, bringing it to his lips and planting a soft kiss on his knuckles, "are a glowstick." He grabs another glowstick and slowly bends it to the point where it is about to break. "This is where you are." 

Needless to say, Dan has never seen Kyle look so confused. "What-" 

"Because you might feel like you're being broken now, but..." He snaps the band until is glows. "You'll end up shining brighter than ever."

Kyle's eyes are full of wonder, and he appears to be at a loss for words. They enjoy a silent moment until the door opens again, and the lawyer appears.

"Daniel," he says, poking his head around the door and looking slightly confused at the two boys, "May I speak to you for a moment?" 

Dan looks over and nods, rising to his feet and disappearing out of the door.

"Where are Kyle's parents?" A police officer asks once the door clicks shut. Mrs Smith is stood with them with a worried yet reassuring smile on her face as support for Dan. Dan doesn't know where the police officer came from.

"Uh, I'm not sure. Probably at home? His Mum and Dad aren't together anymore, and his dad doesn't live with them." He answers with a shrug, giving the name of the town they went to when they visited.

"Why are they not here?" 

"I don't know if they called his dad, but his mum didn't answer the phone when the hospital called." Dan shrugged, wondering why Mr Simmons isn't here. After all, he is only a phone call away.

"We'll head over to Mrs Simmons' house and speak to her. Do you know what Kyle's family life is like?" The officer asks once more, causing Dan's mind to flicker to Kyle's illness because the heating bill has never been paid, the way he slept on the floor so his sister could have his blankets or the way his mum always chose her boyfriend over her kids.

There is a slight hesitation before Dan answers, unsure if he should tell the entire truth. 

"Rough..." He says quietly, diverting his eyes to the floor. "The house was always cold and he got really sick over it, and his parents were always arguing until they split up, and his mum found a new boyfriend and chose him over Kyle and his sister." 

"Sister?" The officer echoes. Dan nods.

"Yeah, he has a little sister- her name is Millie. She was really cold one night, so Kyle gave her his blankets. That's what made him so ill.

 

 

"Samuel was  _obsessed_ with Kyle," one of the defendants on Kyle's side tells the judge, "he was furious that he liked him- he was angry, confused, scared, and upset because he didn't like his sexuality. He thought this was the only way to deal with it." 

The courtroom sits in silence as they listen to the woman as she speaks. Kyle feels sick at the idea of someone like Catlin ever liking him, nevermind being obsessed with him. That's just scary...

"Well, that doesn't give you permission to rape someone," Dan mumbles, though loudly so everyone can hear-  _especially_ the teenage boy sat across the room, looking down at his lap, ashamed of his actions.

 _"Daniel."_ His mother whispers. But he is right, and the courtroom all agree with him.

"And what have the jury come to conclude?" The judge turns to the group of people and a spokesperson stands. 

"Your honor, the jury find Samuel Catlin guilty of rape accompanied by aggravating factor, and guilty of assault." 

"Samuel Catlin will serve twenty years in custody." 

 

 

"Kyle! Why on Earth didn't you tell me?" Mrs Simmons demands as she glides into the stuffy hospital room, scooping her son up into her arms the best she can. Dan rolls his eyes, and even Kyle, her own son, feels uncomfortable with her.

"They tried to ring you, but you wouldn't answer your phone!" Dan tells her, suddenly noticing another police officer and a social worker stood by the doorway.

She ignores Dan's comments, suddenly noticing all the cuts and bruises up Kyle's arms. "Kyle? What's this?"

The son remains silent, shrinking into himself. He doesn't want his mum to be here with him- he knows she doesn't really love him like a mother should. She never has. Dan doesn't give an answer, either.

"Kyle-" 

"We don't think it's right for your children to be in your care any longer, Ma'am." The police officer says, walking into the room with the social worker behind him. "We have reason to believe you have been neglecting them." 

"What?! I haven't been neglecting my kids at all!" She barks back, anger and offence in her voice. "My kids have everything they could want." 

"So why is your son self-harming?" 

"I don't know!" 

"Why was he around my house because you wouldn't pay the heating bill?" Dan asks her, anger flooding through his veins. He knows he shouldn't really get involved, but where Kyle is concerned, he can't help but feel protective. He's been through too much to put up with all of this utter bullshit.

"It's not a  _wouldn't,_ Daniel, it's a  _couldn't!_ I couldn't afford it!" She argues. Kyle hates the way that his mum is lying, so he decides to speak up.  _Stand up for yourself for once._

"You liar! What about your new boyfriend, huh? Taking you out all the time? Paying for you to eat, meanwhile, Millie and I are living on beans on toast? And what about that electric blanket in your room?" He glares at his mum as he speaks, his true feelings revealing themselves. "Why can't your new boyfriend, who is so, so perfect, yet he hits me all the time, pay the bloody heating for once? It's freezing at night, Mum! Not that you'd know that!" 

"Hey! He's the best thing that could have come to our family, and don't make up lies about him!" 

"Dad would  _never_ have let this happen, and you know it. At least he wouldn't have spent money on stupid things like electric blankets and then let his kids starve and freeze," Kyle mumbles, casting his eyes down. "I wish you had left instead of him. He was  _far_ too good for you." 

"Kyle... You don't mean that..." 

"Yes, I do! Because he cares about us, Mum! He loves us more than he'd love his partner." 

There is a brief moment of silence that hangs in the air- stuffy and awkward. Dan watches both of the people, his eyes flicking from one to the other. He wanted to Kyle to speak or for himself, but he didn't expect this.

"Kyle..." 

"Okay, so if you don't want me to go and live at Dad's house, stop seeing Whatever-His-Name-Is." Kyle tells his mum, finally meeting her eyes once more. He feels like bringing up the time she told him to leave, but he decides against it.

His mum doesn't hold Kyle's gaze. She just looks away.

"Kyle... You can't expect me to just break up with somebody I'm happy with because he, well... He's a little rough whilst you're playing around sometimes," she says with a quiet voice. She's trying to convince herself that this is the case more than anybody else. Kyle just shakes his head.

"A little rough!?" He echoes in disbelief. "We never  _'play around',_ Mum! He hits me for no reason! Why can't you see that?" 

"Well-" 

"Are you seriously choosing him over Millie and I? Your own biological kids?!" When the silence remains, Kyle just shakes his head. "I can't believe you. I really, really cannot believe it." 

She goes to say something else, but Dan just shakes his head. "Respectfully, I think it's better if you just leave..." 

When the door shuts with a soft click and the boys are allowed privacy, Kyle dissolves into a puddle of tears.

"She's my own Mum, Dan, and she doesn't even love me." Kyle cries as he wraps his arms around Dan, leaving the other boy's chest slightly damp from where his head is resting. "She chose him over us..." 

Dan has nothing he can say to make this any better. There's nothing he can use to numb the pain or any words that may distract Kyle.

"If it makes it any better, Kyle, _I love you."_ Dan feels useless not being able to help his boyfriend, but he wants to somehow make him feel loved by at least one person in this wild, wild world.

Kyle really appreciates Dan's words at a time like this. He doesn't know where he'd be without Dan- the boy is his literal life saver.

Kyle cannot thank him anymore.

 


	18. Eighteen

 

 

 

When Mr Simmons saw his son lying in the hospital bed earlier this morning with his pale skin blotched and bruised worse than it had ever been before, he couldn't help but crumble into tears. He felt like such a failure of a father- how on Earth could he ever have let this happen to one of his children? The people he is supposed to protect the most? He should have been there for them. He should have helped and supported them, not moved away.

Dan had turned up sobbing at Mr Simmons' parents' house at almost one o'clock that morning and it was only then that he knew what had happened.

"K-Kyle needs your help," Dan had told him as he numbly wiped his face with numb, balled fists. He'd taken the midnight bus there, telling himself that Kyle's dad deserves to know. "He needs you more than he ever has." 

Mr Simmons drove them both to the hospital straight away, but Dan had fallen asleep part way through the journey.

Dan had agreed to wait outside the room as Mr Simmons strode in, bundling Kyle up in his arms the best that he could. He woke the boy and they cried together, Mr Simmons apologising non-stop.

 

"Kyle... There's not much room in the house. I'm sleeping on the settee as it is..." Mr Simmons tells his son on his request to move in with him. Mrs Smith bought breakfast for everyone, so they sit around the room and eat.

Dan is sat next to Kyle on the bed, both of them squished together, but neither of them caring.

"Dad,  _please!_ She chose him over me and Millie, her own kids!" The boy's argument pulls horribly at his father's heartstrings. He wishes he could say yes with no question about it... "You know how cold that house gets- the heating is still not being paid but they have everything  _they_ want!" 

"There's not enough room in the house, Kyle. I'm sorry, but can't you wait until I find somewhere else to live, so you can both stay there?" 

"I have an idea," Mrs Simmons says, gaining everybody's attention. "Why don't you just stay with us for a little bit? Just until your father finds somewhere to live- you know our house is always open to you and Millie." Dan's face lights up. He likes this idea. A lot.

Kyle is not as keen as Dan is on that idea. He feels like he's constantly a charity case. "Would you mind? I mean, I-" 

"Kyle," Dan says as he grabs the other boy's hand. "Just say yes, will you?" 

 

"How did we go from having two kids in the house to suddenly having four?" Mr Smith laughs a few days later once Kyle is finally released from the hospital. Mrs Smith had spoken to his mum and told her that Kyle would be staying at the Smith household for the time being. Through her tears, Mrs Simmons cursed. She wasn't very happy about that...

Dan and Kyle are upstairs together, tangled in each other's arms. Kyle has been keeping his head up all day just to keep everybody else happy, but he's feeling his stone walls crumble.

"Ky," Dan says quietly, holding his boyfriend close to him. He doesn't like it when Kyle is this quiet- the boy is a talkative child, it's far out of character for him. The boy just hums in reply. "What's up?" 

"I'm angry." He answers simply, his eyes closed in an attempt to hide away from the world. 

"At who?" Dan's tone is cautious- he doesn't want to annoy Kyle any more than he already is.

"Myself." The boyfriend frowns at his lovers' comment, guilt hitting him square in the face. 

"Kyle... You know there was nothing anyone could have done, don't you? Nobody could stop him. His friends didn't even know about it..." Dan says quietly, running his hand through Kyle's hair.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Kyle tells him, finally opening his eyes. "I could have done something. Everything he has ever said to me has lead up to that moment- I never stood up for myself, not once. Hell, I never even learned to speak properly. I'm a fool- I can't even get a sentence out of my mouth without sounding like an idiot." He sounds so vulnerable and pathetic in his own eyes, but for Dan, he just sounds trapped within his own thoughts. "If I had stood up to myself, maybe he wouldn't have viewed me as being so weak, and he wouldn't have done that. I blame myself." 

 _"Kyle!"_ Dan scolds, gently taking the boy's hands in his own. "Don't ever say anything like that. You are not to blame! You are  _never_ to blame, okay? His actions are not down to you- you can't blame yourself like this." Dan stares into Kyle's eyes to try and get his message across, to try and show the victim he is not to blame.

But then Dan corrects himself.

Kyle is not a victim. That would make him a statistic, and Kyle deserves to be so, so much more than just a statistic. He's not going to be just a number- no, not ever.

"Dan, I could've done so much to stop him- but I just lay there. I couldn't move. I  _let_ him do it. I  _let_ him do that to me." Kyle repeats, shaking his head and slowly pulling his hands away. "I was weak..." 

Tears appear in Dan's eyes. He hates the fact that it seems all they have done recently is cry- but what happened to them was traumatic. They have every right to.

"You fought for yourself, Kyle. You  _tried_ to stop him, okay? But he's so much bigger than you. Both of us together could never have stopped him." The atmosphere has suddeny turned quite thick as tears trickle down the boy's cheeks. "You are  _not_ weak, okay? You've had to put up with him for so many years. You've not had the easiest of upbringings, and putting up with someone like him every single day- that is the opposite of being weak." 

"Dan-" 

"No, Kyle. Whatever you're about to say, you're wrong." Dan holds Kyle closer than ever before, forcing him to listen to his words. "Sometimes, the worst thing you can do is listen to your heart. You're better off listening to the people you love, and the people who love you. And I love you, Kyle. More than anything." 

 


	19. Nineteen

Time passes quickly when you spend it with the person you love. Kyle knows this far too well since his time at the Smith household came to an end once Mr Simmons found a house close by to not only the Smith's but to Kyle's school because now everything feels as though it's dragging on.

He's much happier now that he's living with his dad. He loves being able to speak to him about anything- Kyle feels that he's already hit rock bottom, so he holds no secrets.

His panic attacks are becoming increasingly difficult to get through without Dan being there. The nights before he left, Dan had helped him to control his breathing whenever he had a panic attack and told him what to do to help himself calm himself down.

Since he has been living with his dad, he feels a lot has changed. He has been finding his arms to be less of a resort for his panic, anxiety, and depression. It wouldn't be like that if Dan wasn't there, though. He helped Kyle more than the boy can ever thank him for.

"Talk to somebody about it, Kyle," he had told him as they lay in bed together one night. The clock on the wall said 02:34, but neither of the boys felt sleepy at all. "That way they can help you." 

"Not really. I can't talk to anybody about it," Kyle had replied with a voice equally as quiet. Dan frowned with confusion and his hands gently slipped into Kyles.

"Why not?" 

"Because men don't cut themselves, do they? If they do, then they are weak.  _I'm weak._ It's a sign of being... Being... Well, I don't, I don't know, but men just don't cut themselves like I do." 

Dan hated hearing this- he hated hearing the lies that Kyle had fed himself.

"Kyle, nothing about a person decides if they self-harm or not, okay? Not their age, class, gender- nothing." Dan told him, giving his hand a slight squeeze. "It doesn't mean that you're weak, or that you're  _'un-manly',_ it just means that you are, or were, going through a really rough time, and Kyle, what happened to you was awful. Even before all of that, I don't know how I would have coped- and I know that people have many different ways of coping, and yours is not the best, nor the healthiest way to cope. I know, and that's why I want to stop." Dan had said, bringing the boys hand slowly up to his lips.

Kyle looked uneasy.

"Just try, Ky, for me?" Dan stared deeply into the other boy's eyes, and it felt for a moment as though he was staring into Kyle's soul. "I will support you the whole way through it. I swear." 

"Okay, Dan. Just for you..." 

 

Mr Simmons had also signed Kyle up for speech therapy. This means that at five o'clock on a Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday every week, Kyle is at the local doctors' office with his speech therapist. He's now able to string together a sentence without stuttering as much, and he's beyond happy about that. It was when his dad pointed out that everything really was looking better now that he fully understand Dan's glow band points.

It's Kyle's first day back at school today. Dan had gone back a week and a half before, but Kyle just wasn't ready. For a short period of time, Kyle had shut down altogether. That scared Dan. Their story had already been in the newspapers, and the fact that Mr Catlin was no longer working at the garage (now called Woods Motors) just confirmed everything. Everyone at school would know by now.

"Hey," Kyle smiles as he sees Dan approaching him. He doesn't want to let his nerves show as he holds his arms open and accepts his loving boyfriend into a hug. Dan's school bag makes the hug slightly difficult, though.

Dan pulls away from the hug and kisses Kyle's lips. They're not bothered about anyone knowing they're in a relationship now- well, Dan was never really as bothered as Kyle was in the first place, anyway.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever," the shorter boy says to Kyle as he gives his hand a careful squeeze as an act of support. "Are you ready for today?" 

Kyle only gives Dan a queasy smile but his boyfriend beams back at his as they begin to walk. "As ready as I'll ever be I guess." 

"I'm honestly so proud of you, Kyle," Dan watches Kyle with so much love in his eyes that anyone around them would be able to see it radiating from him. "I genuinely mean it! You've come so far, and I'm unbelievably happy for you."

Kyle's cheeks heat up under the other boy's watchful gaze and a smile grows on his face. Just for a moment, it feels like nothing has ever happened in the first place. Everything has a sense of clarity and cleanliness- he doesn't feel at all like he did those months ago.

Everyone at school had been asking Dan questions about Kyle. He wasn't annoyed because since Catlin was gone, there was nobody that Dan was necessarily weary of. Catlin's so called friends, however, were now supporting the pair. It felt good to not be afraid of anybody again.

 

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Kyle whispers to Dan as they cuddle together on Kyle's bed that evening.

"Yeah?" Dan replies with a smile, running his hand through Kyle's hair.

"Yeah." 

"Good. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too." Kyle smiles as he listens to Dan's words. He wants nothing,  _nothing_ more in the world than for Dan to be by his side every day.

"Good." There's a slight pause in the air before anyone speaks. It's Kyle again. "Do you think we'll get married and have children?" 

Dan can't help the smile that breaks across his face, but he knows that proposing to Kyle is quite a while away yet. "One day, Kyle. One day." 

"Promise?" 

"Cross my heart and hope to die," Dan answers back, kissing the boy.

"I'm looking forward to it." Kyle chuckles, which makes Dan smile even more.

"I'm just looking forward to our future, Kyle."


	20. Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter, guys! Sorry!

"Daddy! Come and look at this tree I found! It's amazing!" 

Dan and Kyle follow their child through all of the trees and the thick, overgrown shrubbery of the forest where they have come for the day. Kyle had gone to see his dad and Dan had his entire family, all of whom were beyond happy to see the Smith-Simmons again.

Everything has changed in the last ten years for the pair. At the age of 23, the pair married. It was a beautiful service and everyone was just happy that, after all this time, the pair were finally married. And then, two years ago at the age of 25, they adopted two children. They were siblings who couldn't be looked after by their mum, and Dan and Kyle were way beyond excited to welcome the young pair into their lives.

The two kids- four-year-old Charlie and five-year-old Laura (Dan was very amused when he found out her name was Laura)- are the pride and joy of the Smith-Simmons household. They love them beyond what words can describe, and when they were finally able to hold them in their arms after the difficult and long adoption process (many tests were carried out on Kyle because of his past. They needed to ensure he was mentally stable and healthy), and everything was real, and everything was perfect.

Charlie clings onto Kyle's arms. He's too clinging to let him out of his sight, and the story is the same around Dan. If his dads aren't there, the youngster isn't comfortable. That's just the way he is.

Laura, however, runs along in amusement with her fathers in tow shortly behind her and disappears into the bushes. Dan shakes his head with a bemused smile and follows her. His hand is tightly holding Kyle's.

Everything about the forest around the two men screams nostalgia, and they don't like it. For some reason, it brings more anxiety to Kyle than it does Dan, but he attempts to push it to the back of his mind. He puts it down to the fact that this is just his hometown, where he lived before he moved with Dan to a small town in the Midlands.

"Look, just  _look_ at this tree! It's huge!" Laura grins, pointing up at the large oak tree that towers above the family. "It's taller than you, Dad!" She turns to Kyle with a smile on her face, but he's not looking at her.

Dan gives a glance to Kyle as everything begins to piece together in his mind, and he realises where he is and what tree they are stood before. He looks up to see the roughly carved heart with _D S + K S_ written inside of it, his heart jumping to his throat. He realises why his worry-o-metre had spiked. He can only imagine how Kyle must be taking all of this.

His gaze then goes down to the base of the tree, to the very spot where he had slumped all those years ago fighting to keep himself awake- guilt overwhelms him at how he sat and pleaded for Catlin to leave Kyle alone only to lose consciousness. If he had stayed away, maybe he could have stopped him... He could have helped in some way...

Kyle gently places Charlie on the floor with shaking hands and the young boy gives a cry of refusal until Dan bends down to his height.

"Charlie, please will you go with Laura and leave us two alone for ten minutes, please?" Dan asks the boy quietly, running his hand through the child's thick, black hair. Charlie is hesitant. "Please, Charles? For Popa?" 

The boy doesn't look happy, but Laura, sensing the situation, takes his hand and gently leads him away, telling him of another tree not far away.

 _Of all the places, why here?_ Kyle thinks to himself, his breathing ceasing. He can't tear his eyes from the very spot where his body had lay all those years ago, which had caused him to become so dysfunctional. He still has frequent panic attacks and it's impossible for him to be any more intimate with Dan than just making out with him. He figured out very early on that things would never be the same again.

"Kyle, Love," Dan says with a soft voice as his husband slowly sinks down, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes. Dan takes a seat next to him and gently wraps his arms around him. "Hey, you're okay. We're okay." 

Kyle's eyes are watery with tears, and his breath is catching in his throat. "I hate him, Dan," he whispers, covering his face with his hands. "I hate him so much." 

"We have kids now, Kyle. We're  _married._ We're a happy, loving family, and we are living a happy life. We are everything we wanted to be when we were teenagers. Catlin is in prison, Catlin is unhappy, Catlin is everything he never wanted to be, okay? God knows what he's doing in those four walls, but he can never, ever be happier than us now." Dan rubs KYle's back for support, gently talking to him. The fear of Kyle falling back into his depression keeps him away at night- he never wants Kyle to lock him out like that again.

"But he still scarred me, Dan. He's stopped us from doing so much stuff together. He put me into a hole that it took me years to get out of..." Kyle sounds horribly disheartened again. Dan doesn't like that.

"But we got you out of that hole eventually. We,  _together,_ helped you to get better. And whenever you need me, I will  _always_ be there to help you again." 

Kyle nods, but he doesn't look fully convinced that everything is okay. He can feel the sickening weight of living as it weighs down his chest, and it feels like it will never get off of him.

And when he feels like, once more, he may fall into his pit of depression, he hears them. He hears the laughing of his children just metres away, and he hears Dan besides him, whispering words of comfort and telling him just how much he loves him. He realises how important everything is right now, and, being a father, how he doesn't have time to lock himself away in the dark past of his teenage years again. That's a door that needs to be shut. For good.

Notcing the vacant look in his eyes, Dan frowns in worry. "Kyle?" He whispers, gently moving to hold Kyle tighter.

Everything in the moment feels so real for Kyle. He is aware of everything- yes, he's aware of the fear, anxiety, and depression that runs through him, but he's aware of how loved he is, and he's aware of how much his family love him, and he is aware of how happy he is.

"I love you, Dan," Kyle whispers, bringing the man's face to his own to connect their lips in a short moment of passion. "I love you more than I'll ever know how to describe. Forever and always." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was that. What did you guys think? And Charlie hahahahahahah! Also, keep an eye out- I should have another Dyle fic up soon!


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